So, last weekend after the utter embarassment of stuffing my thighs and stomach into a pair of too-small boxer shorts, I looked back on the situation and had to laugh. Like, ROFL, laugh. (Ew, did I just use that lingo? I feel like I’m 12.)

Yes, it made me feel a little hefty next to my Manorexic friend, but that sh*t was funny. And it is only one of many mortifying hook-up stories. Let’s be honest - two drunk and horny people heading home to a dark bedroom is a total recipe for embarassment and hilarity. And it seems I am not alone in this one. This week we asked our writers to contribute their most humiliating hook up stories. These will totally make you LOL.

Elizabeth – Baruch College: I once awoke with a boy (having not remembered how he got to my bed) only for him to tell me: “You’re bleeding everywhere.” Thinking I had gotten my period, I was like, “Oh god, sorry, dude.” But to my surprise, it was my back that was bleeding. During our rampaging sex, apparently, I had fallen onto my computer plug and it impaled my back. I still have the scar. Fact.

Blair - Gettysburg College: My sophomore year me and my boyfriend got. it. on. and then passed out naked on the couch. We woke up awhile later when his roommate and friends came back late-night (with pizza!) and found us in the buff.

Kate Bean: Up until the age of… well… last weekend, I had thought queefing was just a normal side effect of great sex. In the past, guys acknowledge this sex toot with a little chuckle or nod of the head. APPARENTLY not all guys are so familiar with the experience; I actually had a guy glare at me. GLARE! Little did he know, my vagina was glaring right back at him in disappointment. Read More »

I love fashion. I even love everything that is just soo ridiculous about fashion. Like how sweaters are in store windows in July and bathing suits in January. Or how friends will tease you for buying into a trend that “is so ugly it makes me want to vomit all over you” only to be wearing it three months later (while you have already moved on to something else -that they want to “vomit all over” -all over again).

Or how magazines will spend an entire season convincing you to get rid of your wide-legs because “Skinny is here to stay!” and then four months later, all you see in the same magazine are super-duper-I could fit 5 kegs in here-wide legs that are a “Must Have” for the upcoming season… “Wide legs are here to stay!” Riiiight.

And I even love what is perhaps, the most ridiculous concept about fashion: nothing is really ever all that original. Sure Marc Jacobs (whom I adore and would date if he wasn’t on another team) makes Flannel look effortlessly chic- but at the same time, my brothers wore plaid flannels in high school along with Doc Martens and their Walkman clipped inside their Z. Cavaricci’s (ah the 90’s….).

I’m usually all for fashion comebacks. Since I’m a vintage junkie, I will jump at the chance to wear something that was once the IT style. Partly because I’m a sappy nostalgic- I love the idea of wearing bell bottoms and imagining what my life would have been like had I grown up in the 70’s. I like to give fashion the benefit of the doubt. I enjoy playing dressup. I do believe that a flannel top could be cute. And aside from the recent seasons of awful Maternity wear, I usually look forward to the “New” (recycled) trends coming out each season- wondering what era will be in this year. Read More »

As we approach August, we may have started to take summer vacay for granted. In the dog days of summer, it’s easy to sleep until 2 p.m., get caught up on Maury, and not realize we still have our PJs on until it’s time to go back to bed. But with the countdown to Fall Semester ticking fast, it’s important to make the most of every spare minute. Whether you’re working your ass off or dedicated to being a lazy bum until a full courseload kicks back in, it’s time to get in gear and create some glorious summer memories.

1. Take a roadtrip. Sure, gas prices are skyrocketing, but you’re only young once, right? And once you’re shackled into a nine-to-five, you’re going to crave the spontaneity that’s currently yours for the taking. I’m a self-professed workaholic, but even I’ve been known to squeeze in a few quality roadtrips between May and August each year. One summer, I took a fourteen-hour drive to Ohio with two girls from work I barely knew, for the birthday party of one of my brother’s grad school friends. And no, my brother didn’t go. So, three random girls showed up at a party in the boondocks (aka Wooster), and promptly put on our party shoes. Liquor flowed, regrettable hook-ups were had, and the girls and I totally bonded over the experience. Even if you can only spare one day, find a town you’ve never been to before, and head out to explore. You never know what adventures might arise. Read More »

Growing up, I always had a very large and disproportionate sense of my own dignity. I was not to be troubled by these impurities of the flesh; I buried my nose in books and ignored the swirling talk of the girls around me. When I hit puberty, I felt violated somehow, as if my body had betrayed me by being real after all, and being a major pain.

While other girls in my class talked easily about their experiences and commiserated about cramps, I was mortified by the whole experience and didn’t want to talk about it to anyone — not to parents, doctors, or friends. The whole business was just embarrassing and shouldn’t be mentioned except when absolutely necessary, I thought.

Only after years of getting older and wiser have I lost some of my adolescent self-consciousness and become comfortable telling someone when I have cramps (in case they haven’t guessed from me being doubled up on the floor). I still don’t have much tolerance for discussing sex, though. I don’t mind it when others talk, but I’d blush like mad to speak about it myself. So am I just a Puritan, or is there a place in the world for the bashful as well? Read More »

T.G.I.F.

Remember when that meant a night of Full House and Family Matters? Now it just means a night of heavy drinking followed by a day of serious sleeping. And I still love it just as much.

This week was a long one. We lost Estelle Getty. Our boyfriend, Christian Bale, was arrested for yelling at his mother. And we found out that all the not-so-hard work we are putting into college isn’t worth crap anymore. Awesome.

But even though another week has passed, crazy girls are still around, we are still too picky when it comes to picking boys, and freaky guys are still all about peeing on us in bed. WTF?

Maybe we should stick to being single? It is far too hard to find a tall guy anyway. And getting into a relationship only means adding another ex to the list…who you will never be able to avoid thanks to our generation’s problem with oversharing.

Ugh. I need a shot.

At least boys are starting to appreciate more comfortable undies. I’ll keep that thought close to my heart as I enjoy yet another awesome summer weekend.

Poor breakfast is probably the most forgotten meal of the day. In your daily mad-morning-dash to school, work, or play, it is easy to forget to eat something before you leave the house. Now for someone with a packed schedule, a mere bowl of cereal or a single granola bar will not tide you over until lunchtime. Luckily, I have found the perfect 15 minute morning meal that will keep you satisfied longer.

This bacon, egg, and cheese muffin may seem like a standard breakfast item, but tastier then a McDonald’s meal with half the calories!

Now on with the deliciousness!

Here are the ingredients for one muffin:
2 eggs
2 sliced Canadian bacon
2 slices processed American cheese (I recommend Kraft)
1 English muffin, split and toasted
1 tablespoon cream cheese, softened Read More »

I just froze my gym account. Why? Well, because it’s warm outside and I don’t need it. Why should I pay $70 a month to work out there when there’s so much to do outside?

I’ve got a huge array of outdoor exercise that I’ve taken on for the summer. If you don’t have a gym membership, but you want to be active — don’t sweat it (ha.ha.HA.). Try some of these outdoor activities:

1. Go for a jog. I used to think that ‘running’ was difficult. I always had to quit shortly after starting because I was so out of breath. But then I realized the trick to running…it’s to JOG. Don’t push yourself too hard. When you need a break, take it! Walk for a while and start running again when you’re ready.

2. Take a camera and walk. Walking by itself can be pretty boring if you don’t have a purpose. So why not grab a camera and go on a little photography stroll? You’ll burn calories and, if you’re anything like me, gain a new sort of appreciation for nature, as well as your neighborhood.

Read More »