How can I instruct my guy while he is “down there” without hurting his feelings?
’ Unsatisfied, U. of Miami
When you say “my guy,” you’re talking about someone you’re dating and feel comfortable with, right? If you’re okay with having his head between your legs, you should be fine with giving him a tongue tutorial. But be careful. You never want to damage a guy’s ego when he’s below the belt. Every guy wants to believe he’s an oral master, though probably clueless that your sounds and heavy breathing are merely Oscar performances.
Start with a compliment, saying how you like it when he does this, but you’ll like it even better if he did this. It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. Be sensual with your words, not demanding. This is a time when talking dirty can be beneficial and educational. Tell him what you want.
I’m dating a guy who keeps having serious, future talks with me. I love the guy, but I just don’t want to think about all that now. How do I avoid the heavy subjects (for now) without hurting my guy?
’ Anonymous, New Jersey
If he’s pushing these talks on you, have a talk. Be careful with your words: He’s obviously passionate about your relationship, so ensure him that you’re not going anywhere and that you do love him. Tell him exactly where you stand. The longer you ignore or dismiss his talks, the more he’ll want these serious conversations. He just wants you to let him know where he stands; even guys need to feel appreciated. Then again, if you love him, but still feel that talking about the future is unsettling, you may need to rethink your own feelings. Relationships never last when the couple is on different levels.
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