Ask Ryan …
I’ve been with my boyfriend for the last two years and, though I love him, I’m starting to get bored. To get off, I fantasize about other guys while we’re having sex. Is this wrong?
Bored in Boise
Most of my answers stress the importance of communication in a relationship. This is no different. You need to stop wasting his time and, more importantly, your own time. If you plan on getting married, that’s the chance to be bored with the same person ’ not when you’re young and full of raging hormones. Go out, have fun and stop settling for a relationship because it’s comfortable or convenient. If you’re bored now after only two years, really, where’s the relationship going? Stop fantasizing about those “other” guys and go find them!
My boyfriend met this girl on Myspace.com. He says she is really cool and just likes to hang out with her for skating boarding and stuff. He says they are only friends. I enjoy skateboarding, too, but he prefers doing that with “her.” Does he think I am not cool? Should I be worried?
Unsure in Colorado
Unless he knew this girl before you, this type of relationship shouldn’t exist, especially since you enjoy these activities, too. I don’t think he feels you’re uncool, but he may just find enjoyment in hanging out with someone new. Either way, he shouldn’t be hanging out with her. I don’t think you should be worried, nor act like a paranoid girlfriend, but bring up this point: Would he feel comfortable if you met a guy and started hanging out with him? Chances are, he wouldn’t let that happen. Therefore, you shouldn’t, either. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship because it affects every aspect. Get this concern out in the open and discuss it with him. Like always, communication is key. Don’t push it under the rug.
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