Sigh.

Good morning, belly pooch. Looking fluffy, as usual.

Oh, and hello, inner thighs. I see you’re rubbing together today.

Hesitantly, you grab your favorite jeans. They slip up your calves with ease, but once they hit your hips, it becomes a struggle. Your denim just won’t stretch as you squeeze your seemingly-larger-than-yesterday ass in and then attempt to close the zipper. You’re immediately reminded of your “snack” the night before: fries, a couple slices of pizza and a brownie. Okay, four.

It’s an IFFD (I Feel Fat Day): a day where fat becomes an emotion. You cry, you self-loathe and you frantically scramble for concealing clothing.

So how can you deal on a day like this? Take control and don’t let the poundage determine your mood.

1) Make your next meal a healthy one. Instead of falling into full-blown depression mode and opting for a burger, choose a salad. Making a conscious, healthy choice will put you on a new path and end the IFFD.

2) Get moving. You know what they say: A body in motion is beauty in progress. Simply taking a walk or climbing a few flights of stairs counts.

3) Wear something that makes you feel good. Hiding behind that muumuu is only going to make you feel large. Put on your favorite T-shirt, necklace or shoes and make yourself feel beautiful.

4) Hang out with positive people. Is your BFF having an IFFD, too? Steer clear of her. The two of you together will only make matters worse. Hang out with the friend that always makes you laugh. Her positive energy will feed yours and enhance your mood.

Oh, boy. Its football season, and with all of the testosterone and muscle mass comes an ironic abundance of advertising for pills that treat male “sexual” dysfunction.

If you are like many females, you may find yourself wondering: When can I pop a magic sex pill?

The fact of the matter is you don’t have orgasms as often as you’d like. Well, you’re not alone: Forty-three percent of females have persistent sexual problems.

Several universities have begun research in this area. However, the goal of the female “pill” is slightly different than Viagra and Cialis. Erectile dysfunction can be treated by increasing the blood flow to the genitals, allowing the man to reach his “full form” for significantly longer. Females don’t seem to lack blood flow; it is the inability to reach orgasm that is the problem. So the ideal pill being developed would actually cause a woman to orgasm. Doesn’t sound too bad, right?

Well, if all we needed was our trusty climaxing pill, foreplay wouldn’t be necessary (and we love foreplay) and men wouldn’t have to last very long to get us off. Altogether, sex would become less fun. On the other hand, those of us who don’t orgasm regularly (or at all) may finally feel what they’ve been missing.

Either way, it’s about time the study of female sexual dysfunction became a priority.

Thanks a lot, Angelina. Not only are you the gold standard for female perfection, but you’ve also raised the bar on lip beauty with your oh-so-perfect pout. Lucky for the rest of us there are lip-plumping products out there for our beauty arsenals. Watch your back, Angie.

Just because the rich and famous enjoy regular collagen injections and plastic surgery (we’re not naming names) for a pout that packs a mean punch doesn’t mean that us everyday gals can’t have a piece of the action.

For a high-science take on the lip-plumping craze, S&#8217vage has created a lip-plumping serum ($39, SkinStore.com) that not only amplifies lips with ingredients that cause a gentle lip swell, but also moisturizes to keep lips looking younger longer. This magic concoction is not greasy or sticky and can be worn under or over lipstick for a pigmented pout.

If you fancy yourself a celebrity-in-training, you’ll love Fusion’s Lipfusion plumper ($26, Lipfusion.com). Celebrity fans include Alyssa Milano, Ashlee Simpson and Nicole Richie, among others, who enjoy a considerable plump thanks to the lip-enhancing collagen in this product.

The beauty cuties at Bliss can’t be left out of this equation. Their Poutrageous plumper ($20, Blissworld.com) is infused with pentapeptides, which create a natural swell giving lips a fuller look. This glossy puffer-upper can be worn alone for a subtle shine.

The newcomer in the beauty biz is the charming Tarte cosmetics line, which includes the Rise and Shine pout-enhancer with a lip stain ($21, TarteCosmetics.com) for a one-step lip regimen. The lip stain will give lips a slight tint, while additional ingredients perfectly plumpify.

It’s all in the Lips!

Last month, those pesky pounds were peeling off fast. You felt fantastically slim, and nothing could come between you and your friend, the gym.

This month, you think the thinning-out quickie was pure luck. It seems your poundage has ceased its decline and you’re ready to throw in the towel.

Hang in there! You’ve hit what fitness gurus call a weight-loss plateau: when your body has settled into the new pattern of diet and exercise by burning fewer calories in order to retain fat stores. So shake up that metabolism again with a little lifestyle modification.

Remotivate

You’re confidence is dwindling and you need to remind yourself why you want to get that lean bod. Do this by writing down all the reasons being healthy and fit will make your life better.

No Cheating

Be honest. Has your calorie counting really been that accurate? It’s very common to overestimate calories burned and underestimate calories eaten. If you haven’t been completely sincere with your weight-loss journal, be faithful to it now.

Switch It Up

Experts say that surprising your body with a change in diet or workout can get you out of a rut. So treat your body differently daily; never do the same workouts two days in a row and alternate calorie-cutting days.

Add Resistance

The more muscle you have, the speedier your metabolism will be. Working with weights or adding in some resistance training will give your body a calorie-burning boost.

More Protein

Some evidence suggests that shifting fat and carb calories to lean protein calories may increase your metabolism. But don’t go meat and bean crazy! Protein should be 20 percent of your daily calories, max.

See. You can still keep losing. No luck required.

Fall semester is in full swing and you’ve got boys on the brain: frat boys, football boys, freshman boys, oh my!

Well, take your pick, missy. A little charm mixed with some tact will snag you a guy (or three) in no time.

Body Language Allure

a) Pull your hair loose from your elastic band so that he can watch your locks cascade down your shoulders and surround your face.

b) Grin and hold his gaze for three seconds. Then bite the corner of your lip and look down.

c) During conversation, touch his knee or hand to emphasize your interest.

Hook, Line and Sinker

a) As a hot guy passes by, stop him by saying, “Wow, you smell great.”

b) At a restaurant, ask if you can borrow his salt shaker – even if you have to cross the room to get it.

c) Instead of asking him what time it is, lightly slip your fingers around his wrist and check for yourself on his watch.

Ploy Perfection

a) Enlist him to guard the door to the ladies’ room.

b) At a crowded party, pretend to lose your balance and steady yourself on his biceps.

c) Request to look at his cell phone and say it’s quite impressive but missing a very important feature – your number.

For more tantalizing tricks, visit cosmo.com.

In honor of the big move to college, you decided to splurge and purchase those super-sexy skinny jeans everyone has been raving about. They are hot, they are trendy and, god, they make your butt look good.

Fast-forward three months: You lie on the futon eating pizza, staring at those delicious dungarees that once hugged your curves perfectly. Now, they won’t zip.

Damn you, Freshman 15!

Don’t hang those pants up just yet. There are many ways to avoid the extra poundage that comes with college; all you need is to be prepared.

Keep it Light: Stock your shelves or micro-fridge with healthy foods like produce and low-calorie snacks. If you don’t have fatty foods around, you won’t be able to eat ‘em (especially after a night at the bar).

Spice it Up: Eating the same thing every day gets boring, which makes that ice cream sundae bar all the more appetizing. Visit other dining halls or try replacing that boring turkey sandwich with something new and exciting.

Bring It With: When leaving your dorm or apartment, make sure to bring some fruit or healthy snack along with you. When you do get hungry, you can avoid the bag of greasy chips or fatty candy bars and opt for much healthier satisfaction.

Keep it Green: Salads are healthy, but not when you pour on the nuts, cheese and dressing. Consider filling the salad with fresh greens, veggies and beans and topping it off with a little low-fat or fat-free dressing. Remember, a little dressing goes a long way.

2006 has been a fantastic year for all of you chocolate and coffee addicts. Your daily fixes are actually good for you.

Recent studies verify that both chocolate and coffee are indeed beneficial to your health. (See. Everyone should have been listening to you all along). Yes, the fattening quality of your Hershey’s bars and the caffeine high of your lattes have been bad-mouthed. But you stood by them, and, now, the dark indulgences are getting the recognition they deserve.

You’ve heard they’re both rich in antioxidants, but how do they do your body good?

Biting into solid dark chocolate has been proven to better blood flow and the ability of blood vessels dilate, which are signs that it can reduce the risk of heart disease. This is good news because women love chocolate and are very susceptible to development of this disease. So when you get that irresistible chocolate urge, satisfy it. But don’t stuff yourself. Eating chocolate may benefit your health, but it’s still contains a ton of calories!

Dear, coffee has kept you going for years: through late library nights, early mornings and long road trips. Sometimes you feel naked without your cup in hand. Today, we know that java-drinkers have a lower risk of type-two diabetes; coffee gives your mood a significant boost and also seems to protect against Parkinson’s disease, colon and liver cancer. Now don’t go loading up on your lattes. One to two cups a day is plenty to reap the benefits.

So, here’s to 2006. Nibble and sip to your health.

What pleasure do men get out of a golden shower?

My boyfriend asked me to pee on him when we were having fun in the shower. Of course, I was shocked, and wanting to please him, I tried to let it loose on him but I guess I caught a case of stage fright. I apologized and said maybe next time, but honestly, I am a little grossed out by his request.

There is absolutely no pleasure in you peeing on him! Not that I’m an experienced member of the golden shower club, but I’ll take a wild stab and suggest that his curiosity got the best of him. The only time you should ever hear the request to be urinated on is after being stung by a jelly fish (see the Friends episode for further reference). There are a million ways to have fun in the shower, and urination is not one of them. Nothing that’s done in the toilet should ever leave that domain.

Long-term love can really warp your idea of single life. Sleeping alone without your spooning partner? Perish the thought! But if you do become unattached, you have to remember that being solo can be the most exciting time of your life.

Not convinced?

Read on.

1. You can do whatever you damn well please.

2. You can really flirt … and more.

3. You’ll save money: free drinks from random guys at the bar.

4. You can spend more quality time with your girlfriends.

5. You’ll have hours of undisturbed sleep with the covers all to yourself.

6. You’ll be free of his constant burps and farts.

7. You don’t have to worry about him when he’s out with his single friends.

8. You won’t have to deal with his leaving clothes carelessly on the floor.

9. You don’t have to groom as often.

10. You can get into your own routine.

11. You can finally focus losing that pesky 10 lbs.

12. You can be happy with who you are, not who he wants you to be.

Heineken, Carlsberg, San Miguel, Stella Artois, Becks, Bass, Anchor, Budweiser … college just wouldn’t be college without them. But based on a recently launched international campaign, maybe you should think twice when selecting your beverage of choice.

The campaign is highlighting the exploitation of South East Asian women who are employed by beer distributors. These women have a similar job to the scantily clad Bacardi girls we have all encountered out at the bars, only they are exploited by their employers, paid below the living wage (many have families to support), are frequently victims of sexual assault and often forced into prostitution to fulfill the unrealistic quotas.

As a result of the risky sex work of the 20,000 female beer promoters in Cambodia, 20 percent of them are HIV-positive. The estimate is that within two years, all of these HIV-positive women will be dead. And their employers are not offering to help with treatment.

What can you do to help?

Next time you are heading out to the latest bar, game or evening soiree, think about your fellow women when deciding which companies you choose to support.