New Relationships: Turning Off the Power Switch

There’s nothing more exciting than meeting a guy with whom you click. The chemistry is set, the sparks ignite, and the wheels are in motion for what could be an actual, meaningful relationship. For once. However, something I’ve noticed, and my friends have noticed, is a gradual shift just after the beginning stages of courtship. Something happens. Something bad.

By CC Staff

When you first meet a guy, he is taken by you. He is wooed. You have wooed him! That’s so Old English of you. But don’t jump on your high horse yet, lady. This is all part of his master plan.

He says, “It’s so refreshing to meet some one like you. I really connect with you. You’re not like all the other girls I’ve met – you’re smart. You’re special.”

This is the stage in which he says he’ll call you at eight o’clock, and he calls you at eight o’clock. Maybe a minute sooner. He asks you out on Monday for a date on Friday. He’s like an eager puppy, and feminists will hate this, but it’s quite empowering. And the best part is, you don’t really care either way – yet. This odd male behavior continues for a while, maybe a month or so. But then, disaster strikes. You start to like him – a lot. And it’s not like he has lost interest, but something has definitely….changed. You were the one sitting high on the seesaw, and now the weight has shifted. Now he’s got the one-up and you’re struggling to reclaim your spot on top (in the most non-sexual way, of course).

You two never made things official, but what happened? Did you sleep with him too soon? Not soon enough? Did you get too comfortable too quickly? You start to think, “Why is he not as insanely crazy about me? What the hell happened here!?”

Okay, okay. I sound bitter, I know. But this happens a lot to unsuspecting girls who are going along, feeling great in their new, exciting “special” friendships, or whatever you want to call it, and BAMN. You’re feeling confused, and now you want him even more.

Every relationship is case specific. But if you know what I’m talking about, here are some general tips to help stop the madness:

-Keep the mystery. Once you become too available for him, (and you know when you have) things could turn ugly. I know it’s hard, but don’t pick up his every call, and make plans with your girlfriends a few nights per week. Don’t lose sight of your own social life just because you’ve met a potential boyfriend.

-Get what you deserve. Don’t be afraid to start that ever-so-scary “what are we?” conversation when you know it’s due. Take control and tell him what you want. Take it or leave it. Just make sure when you say, “take it or leave it,” you’re 100% prepared to leave it. He will see your confidence and this will bring your half of the power back.

-Be aware. The beginning of a relationship is always fun, and it’s easy to get caught up in the experience without thinking ahead. If you think you’ll really start to like this guy, (because you just might) go with your gut. Always keep a check on how you feel deep down and never ignore your true feelings.

-Don’t ignore the obvious. If you guys are hanging out a lot, and neither of you are really dating other people, and it’s been going on for a while, it’s pretty safe to say you’ve entered into the world of an actual, meaningful relationship, title or not. Don’t let him take over the top spot for good. You should both be on the same page about where it’s all going.

….so turn off that power switch and even out the seesaw, girl!