You Have Been Served – NOT.

March 19, 2007 Posted in Body, Buzz, Reality

What is the deal with bar-linger-ers? You know who I am talking about- those inconsiderate jackasses that absolutely refuse to vacate the bar area once they’ve been served- leaving you with no other option but to hoover over the service bar, only to be growled at by the pissed-off waitress picking up her order. How long could it possibly take to get a f@*%ing drink?

By CC Staff

I have absolutely no patience when it comes to my drinking time. Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got me some drinkin’ to do.

Fortunately for you and me, I came across some very useful tips @ wikihow.com – that are certain to make your drink ordering experience much more pleasureable. Take a look.

1 Get to the bar. In a heaving sweaty crowd that is three or four people deep, the critical thing is to seize any opening, no matter how small, and claim it as your own. It’s a three step procedure:

* Snake your hand through the heaving throng until it touches wood. Getting your hand on the bar top is like staking a flag in the ground. Once you’ve done it the territory is yours.

* Draw your body in at right angles to the bar, through any space that opens up.

* As soon as someone moves away, turn your body flush with the bar, with both hands planted on the woodwork. You are now in the pole position.

2 Get noticed. You need to catch the nearest barkeep’s eye as soon as possible. Use everything at your disposal to make an impression. Smile, look approachable and keep your impatience to yourself. It may also be possible to “catch the bartender’s eye” with money (see Tips). Follow the barkeep’s actions closely till you catch his eye.

3 Watch for the critical moment. After he has given change to the person he’s just served, the barkeep’s eyes will flick up briefly looking for the next customer. If he looks at you immediately start saying your order.

4 Make your move. Raise your hand, open your mouth slightly and lean forward a touch. The millisecond the barkeep glances at you, call out your order in a loud, clear voice. Say you’re ordering four drinks. Hold up four fingers or say “I’ll need four…” and then name them all.

5 Tip generously. If you are planning a whole night’s drinking, smart tipping will ensure prompt service on future orders.

Read the article.