Sorry Guys, Size Does Matter.

March 20, 2007 1:25 pm     Posted in Relationships, Sex  Candy -- NYU g+ page

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By Candy

Yeah, yeah yeah. We have all heard it a thousand times – “It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean.” Sh-aah, If even- whatever. I hate to be the bearer of bad news for you dudes out there, but it’s the SIZE of the boat. C’mon, deep down you knew she was only trying to make you feel better.

OK, here’s the deal. It’s not the middle that’s the problem, it’s the low and high end of the spectrum that has something to worry about. The fact of the matter is, we are just not designed to accomodate a horse, and likewise, an angry inch just won’t cut it. I found some testimonials on utterpants.com that will hopefully set the record straight. Take a look.

Amy, 32, said, “I should at least be able to feel some kind of penetration. Either the ruler he’s using has shrunk even more than his dick or he was too busy playing with himself when he should have been learning how many inches there are in a foot. If he’s eight inches then my Nissan Micra is a bloody BMW!

Does Size Matter?

Kevin, 32, told a similar, depressing tale: “Lesley (not her real name) was the first chick I ever had full sex with and we lost our virginities together. We had sex a lot and I thought everything was fine until we broke up and I moved onto my second sexual partner, Britney (not her real name either). The first time we had sex she said she couldn’t feel anything and asked me if I was even inside. I was burning with embarrassment and I haven’t had a single shag since.” We asked ‘Britney’ to measure ‘Kevin’s’ disappointingly inadequate appendage and she recorded a pathetic 6½ inches. What can we say?

Marianne, 36, told us: “I recently started going out with a new boyfriend but felt pain each time when we tried to have intercourse. As a result, we always stopped immediately. What’s wrong with me? We got ‘Marianne’ to do the business on the ‘gentleman’s’ todger with our sophisticated measuring equipment and recorded 12¼ inches. Yes, that’s right boys; twelve and a quarter inches! We advised ‘Marianne’ to stick to guys her own size in future and suggested to the boyfriend that his present job in Telesales may not be stretching his talents to the full.

Read the article.

5 Comments on "Sorry Guys, Size Does Matter."

  1. anonymous says:
    Thu, 22nd Mar 20075:09 am 

    Can also be the motion of the ocean thats wrong to, one of my friend’s bf is larger than her last fling, but compleatly sucks in bed. Also 6 1/2 inches is larger than average, so if your not satisfied by that then good luck. Also if you care at all for the guy DO NOT INSULT HIS SIZE. No matter how secure he is with himself that blow is far more than any girl Ive met could understand.

  2. Jose says:
    Sat, 3rd May 200810:42 am 

    Size does not matter read the facts.

    Virtually every man forgets that it doesn’t matter how long or how short your penis is, because the vagina will accommodate itself to any length.

    The vagina of a woman who hasn’t had a child is only 7.5cm (3 inches) long when she’s not sexually excited. The figures for women who have had babies are only slightly different.

    Even when aroused, a woman’s vagina usually extends only to a length of about 10cm (4 inches).

    This means any man’s penis will fill her vagina completely, unless you happen to be one of those rare guys with an erect penile length of less than four inches.

    You’re probably now wondering how the average man with an erection of six inches manages to insert his penis into the vagina at all.

    The vagina has the most remarkable capacity for lengthening if something is introduced into it gradually.

    So the exceptional man whose erect penis is eight inches long can still make love to any woman, providing he excites her properly and introduces his organ very slowly. If he does this, her vagina will lengthen by 150 or 200 per cent to accommodate him.

  3. Debby says:
    Sun, 21st Jun 20096:54 pm 

    Of course size does matter: length AND width. Anything shorter than 7 is small.

  4. rich says:
    Sat, 23rd Jan 201011:44 am 

    THat site you used utterpants or whatever its called, went to it. Its basically a porn site, that is more concerned with selling toys and ads for penis enlargement. Read those comments, they are totally fake, you can tell by how they are wrote. really, the bare minimum to please a modern liberated woman is 8" but you will need 10" to give her a orgasm. BULLSH*T. I am a good 7.5" long with a thick girth and I have made every women I have been with orgasm, not no puny clitoral stuff either I am for the g-spot, squirtying gushing, got to change the sheets stuff. I am not a man whore, in fact am proud to say I have only been with 11 women in my life, not counting highschool I'm 37, and the women ranged in age from younger then me to much older then me, black asian and white. I made it a point to make them orgasm well, and they didnt seem to have a problem. Several of them thought I was huge, I find that funny, nice maybe not huge. A couple women had a hard time actually taking all of me, but most told me their words not mine, I was a perfect size. That coming from a ex lover who was a black female and married, whose husband was much larger then me, and she had never been with a white male before nor had she been with someone my size, she had only been with a few men ever, and all were larger. Why did she carry on a affair with me, because we fit well together, we had great sex, she orgasmed easily and regularly with me and she could also enjoy anal easier as well, which she did really like but not with her husband. SO not sure where that site got its fake information but I wouldnt believe it. Oh and I agree with the other poster, 6.5 inches is not puny, its the high end of average.

  5. Brianna Lee says:
    Sun, 4th Jul 20107:48 am 

    Telesales is actually good for promoting your affiliate products both online and offline situations.;'*

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