Freaks Do It Better

By Jess

You know, I’m beginning to think freaks really do have more fun.

And apparently, have an easier time finding someone to marry.

This guy recently tied the knot. And his wife isn’t half bad. And apparently he did the choosing.

Is he rich? No (they call him a ‘herdsman’, and while I’m not up on my pastoral occupations, I’m gonna to take a flying leap and guess ‘herdsmen’ aren’t rollin’ in the Benjamins). Can he dunk? The article didn’t mention it.

What I do know is that he saved two dolphins by pulling plastic out of their stomachs with his “long arms”.

Eh. That’s one more good deed than the last guy I went out with.

Its long been a suspicion of mine that the weirder you are, the easier it is to find a partner to share forever with, and every time someone like Mr. freakishly tall Bao Xishun gets married, my suspicious are confirmed a little more. I’m not quite sure why the scale swings the way it does, and whether as a self-confirmed ‘normal’ person I should be depressed at these statistics, or encouraged.

I mean, if this dude can find love, there’s got to be hope for me. Then again…if you blend into the crowd too well, you’re liable to get lost.

I guess us single gals just need to keep our candles burning for that one special person, and believe in the possibility, whether our possibility looks like Ryan Gosling…or Bao Xishun, the herdsman.

…Honestly though, if I was his wife, I’d make him dunk at least once a day.