So You Want a Better BJ? Well What About My Va-Jay-Jay???

Men and their blow jobs! It’s unbelievable. Now, please don’t get me confused with one that does not provide oral sex to the opposite sex, because I most certainly do—and I’d like to think (according to my boyfriend’s face and grunts of joy) that I’m pretty damn good at it. But…if women were so publicly in love and obsessed with having their va-jay-jays licked, as men are with their penises, I think the world would go into shock.

By Candy

Blow jobs are everywhere. From the endless supply of how-to literature, and porno medleys of non-stop fellatio, to over-hearing boys talk about it in a passing conversation; how to give it, how they like it, and how they want, seems to be all men ever talk about. They go hand in hand, like “me and my buddy”. Introduced to one another as young as 14 or 15-years-old, the male species and dick-sucking have been inseparable ever since. If in the event blow jobs all of a sudden became illegal and completely unattainable, the world would not only go into shock, but probably crumble at the seams. I guess it still really is a man’s world. Ugh, don’t get me started on that!

Literature, such as iVillage’s “A Guy’s Guide to Gals on Giving Amazing Oral Sex,” is one of the many examples of how-to literature—which I find nothing wrong with. Hell, I’d love to learn some new tricks, but someone better be supplying my boyfriend with some new tricks too.

Yea, yea, yea… there are plenty of articles on how to lick pussy, but they’re usually found in women’s magazines like Cosmopolitan, or Glamour. And let’s be honest here—how many men are actually reading these magazines? Ummm…none! Not even if you beg your boyfriend to read it, or if you read it for him, break it down, and make notes.

It’s just not happening ladies, so your man continues to go uneducated; only improving upon directions thrown his way (out of frustration) during the act. And often that doesn’t go so well either. The first few times he’ll get discouraged and then you have to deal with limpy-wimpy over there—always a big turn off in the heat of a now fleeting moment.

So I say “F**k em’!” to articles about men and their ridiculous ideas about blow jobs, though some articles are extremely entertaining. Find me an article (in a men’s magazine) about pampering the pussy—feeding it snacks like ice chips, whipped cream, and hot fudge—and maybe I’ll consider taking all these how-to documents seriously.

Truth be told, we could all use to learn a little in the oral sex department.

What are your feelings on blow jobs?