Ask the RA – Should I Hook Up with Someone on My Floor?
During my three years as a Resident Assistant, I came across some normal problems like roommate conflict, some not-so-normal problems like roommates sleeping with knives and then there was the age-old problem that all of my little residents could never seem to find the solution to – Should I or shouldn’t I hook up with someone who lives in my building/on my floor?
I mean, who am I to judge? I won’t go into too many details, but let’s just say I’ve been down that path and I’ve had a different experience each time (most not so great).
The ultimate and most vital question any dorm resident asking her/himself should be is “will it be awkward the next time I see this person?”
I think the whole scenario is really on a case by case basis. I, for one, was friends with everyone on my floor one particular year, which yes, DID make it awkward and yes, I DID regret it.
So I, as your CollegeCandy.com Resident Assistant, am here with some questions you should ask yourself before you wake up in the suite down the hall, k?
1- Will it be awkward the next time I see this person? (Ask yourself this question and REALLY think about it…don’t just skip to number two because you’re hungry or late for class) The last thing anyone wants is tension in their own room or building.
2- Does this person already have a girlfriend or boyfriend? Seems like kind of a stupid question, right? I PROMISE you…it’s NOT. You’d be surprised at how many shifty people attend your school and have secret relationships. I’ve seen this one too many times and believe me, you will be much happier when you don’t have to meet his girlfriend, who’s in from New Jersey, when he was just making out with you the night before.
Would you hook-up with someone on your floor?
3- What is the person’s rep? You live with them…you should have some kind of ideas as to their hooking up habits already. If this guy or girl has a lot of random nights, it’s probably not a good idea to join the party because I hear the party is located at 69 STD Road. (HINT – always use a condom)
4- Will he/she tell everyone else in the building? (Another question people forget to ask themselves) If you’re a private person, you might want to do a little investigating and find out exactly how he or she would handle being asked about what happened between the two of you.
5- Are you looking for more than just a hook up? Girls in college are especially famous for disillusioning themselves into thinking that a “hook up buddy” is all that they want. If that’s really the TRUTH then fine…but if not, think long and hard if this is really the right move for you. If you do think you might want more, you hook up, and then you see him prowling down the hallway at 4AM with another girl, you’ll feel like shit…and nobody want to feel like shit.
Have a burning (figuratively or literally) question that you can’t ask your own RA? Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org. Your secrets are safe with me…for now anyway. =)