I don’t want to sound all creepy (or pathetic), but I thought I was pretty knowledgeable when it came to masturbation. I mean, I know how to do it. I know different toys to use. And I do it on occasion (some occasions occurring more frequently than others).
So you can imagine my shock when I was informed about this new little double duty ditty.
Ok, I have heard of many uses for a pump:
1. Filling a tire
2. Filling a gym ball
3. Making your lips look plumper (if you are really weird)
But for self induced sexual satisfaction? This is quite new to me. And slightly new to the rest of the world. Apparently, this form of masturbation has been used in small circles nationwide for years, but has only recently hit the mainstream (i.e. Lover’s Lanes across the country).
The rapid growth (pun fully intended) of this product lies in its ability to do two things at once: stimulate you and plump you up. I immediately have to wonder why any woman would want a plump vagina (I mean, we all know that an oversized va-jay-jay has caused only problems for our pal from Laguna), but apparently men find an engorged vagina to be quite sexy. Oh, and it also makes you muuuch more sensitive.
Just be careful to study the pussy pump instructions closely before using; doing it wrong could land you a giant hoo-hoo hickey.



2 Girls, 1 Cup (Don't worry…just the parodies)
Apply to college for free?!
Blind student sues over use of Kindle
Bret Michaels is cursed.
Britney ruined Sam Lutfi's life?!
Girls can't quit the cancer sticks.
Got something to say? Something to share? Email us!
It's funny when people fall.
Maybe Paris Jackson shouldn't have said anything…
What's with this Degree perfume stuff?







Sara says:
Mon, 9th Apr 20075:20 pm
good lord!
Tell us what you're thinking...
COVER STORY
Now that a lot of us hold weekly office jobs, it makes perfect sense that we want...
[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions....
Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or...
Read More Posts From This CategoryHAHA
I love the way rompers look (on other people). I love penises (on other…male…people). I...
I am a notorious people watcher and window shopper. Whenever I’m walking...
The season of sun is finally here, and that means three things: sand, water, and...
Read More Posts From This CategoryCandy Dish: It’s a Good Thing Emma Watson Wears Undies
• We don’t need another Britney sitch.
• Justin Timberlake thinks he’s the next Tiger Woods.
• America hearts beastiality?
• So that’s why Michael Jackson wore the glove?
• And you thought your sunburn was bad?
• Don’t wanna shower? Try a dry shampoo.
Sex Education 201: The Stuff You Really Wanna Know
Fashion Porn: Necklace Orgy
Alcohol: The Stepping Stone to Metrosexuality
The Best Grad Speech That Never Happened
The Doctor Is In: Are You Sure I Won’t Get Pregnant!?
Turn Up The Fun On Your Drinking