I listen to a lot of music. A lot of music. I’m sort of a music whore, downloading new stuff all the time, listening to it 12 times in a row, and then getting bored and looking for the next big thing. iTunes is like my pimp; I just can’t say no, even though it charges too much and never says thank you.
Because of this fixation, I have heard a lot of bad lyrics in my time. If the music is bumpin’, sometimes it’s allowed. But every once in a while I come across a line I cannot let go. A sentence that is so horrible, so strange, so stupid, that I must find the lyrics online and dissect them.
Apparently, this website has the same obsession.
Some examples?
“Relentless lust/
Of rotting flesh/
To thrash the tomb she lies/
Heathen whore/
Of Satan’s wrath/
I spit at your demise” – Slayer
(Ah. Heathen whore. One of my favorite nicknames.)
“There were plants/
And birds/
And rocks/
And things” – America
(I made that observation once. While high.)
A personal favorite of mine comes straight from R. Kelly’s masterpiece “Trapped in the Closet”
“And she cries out, ‘oh my goodness i’m about to climax’ /
and i say ‘cool, climax, just let go of my leg!’ /
she says ‘you’re the perfect lover’/
i said, ‘i can’t go no father’ /
then i flipped back the cover /
oh my god a rubber!”
Fantastic, no?
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