Public Displays of Gropery: How PDA are You?

Imagine my shock when I cracked open this month’s Cosmopolitan to read about how I could be the “perfect girlfriend”. Okay, that just made me sound like a huge loser. I was really after the article on new ways to wear shorts and my all time favorite way to waste a Friday afternoon- Cosmo Confessions, the girlfriend how-to manual was just an added bonus.

Now, I take Cosmopolitan with a grain of salt, mainly because I’m convinced they print the exact same things every single month only with different pictures. I mean, there can’t be unlimited number of things “guys crave in bed”….unless it starts becoming appropriate to discuss the realm of the extreme kink in a magazine that doesn’t have a plastic casing. The day I see an expose on anal sex or something, is the day I’m canceling my subscription and moving to Singapore. Forget this.

But back to the whole perfect girlfriend thing. According to the Editors of Men’s Health, 97% of Men’s Health readers want a women who’s willing to show her love in public. “Men want a woman who’s confident enough in her sexuality to make a move, no matter the circumstances,” says the author of VoiceMale.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never thought PDA was especially kosher. I mean, holding hands is one thing but haven’t we all felt a little queasy watching some couple grope one another on a subway- especially if this little spectacle is on the way to school, pre-coffee. It’s torture. I’m sure it’s great for them, but for the hung-over girl across the way, it’s like watching somebody kick kittens or something.

It’s hard to say what the appropriate line is when it comes to this public intimacy stuff. I would personally shy away from anything other than a cheek kiss, but I am from Alaska…which might mean that I’m a frosty bitch.

Or maybe it’s just memories from the last time I was single on some big lovefest of a holiday, watching all the happy people skipping around while I crunched on a bar of Godiva with a scowl. I almost feel like taking advantage of the affection of my new guy in public is sort of hypocritical, plus I’m upsetting the girls who are currently scowling and eating their bars of Godiva. I couldn’t do that to them. Or could I? I’ve been tempted, let me tell you.

What are your thoughts?