A Vibrating Cone: The New Super Sex Toy

Is your vibrator too confusing? Does it take too much energy to turn the thing on and hold it? The traditional shape freaking you out?

I didn’t think so. But just in case it was, some lovely people have gone and developed THE CONE.

What’s this new device? It’s a vibrating cone. Yup. That’s all. The website claims there are “16 built-in programs”, and that The Cone is the “biggest thing to happen to the sex toy industry in a long, long time!”, but to me, it just seems like a cone that shakes. (besides, 16 programs? Are we trying to have orgasms, or install new shit onto our computers?!)

I will admit, however, that the website is pretty damn interesting. As soon as you go there, you’re greeted with bumpin’ club music and all the information you could ever want. Plus, there’s even a movie you can watch and a link where you can talk to users of The Cone all over the world! (I’m not sure how long those conversations will last…but…who knows?)

My favorite part about The Cone website the “Virtual Cone” game. I’m not joking about this. I swear. It’s a game where you get to “unpack” your Cone and then turn it on and press a button and ‘hear’ all 16 different vibrations. And while I think everyone should play this ‘game’, I do not recommend you do it at work. It’s loud. And people are going to stare. And maybe even come over to your desk. And then you’ll have to explain exactly what you’re doing on your boss’s time…

While I can’t wholeheartedly recommend the actual product (my normal vibrator isn’t really giving me any problems and don’t really have $100 to blow on a buzzing funnel), I do advocate visiting this intensely entertaining website. Just maybe think twice about doing it in a public place.

…Unless you think your library or workplace could use a little action.