Home Improvement, Female Edition

Guys like to fix things by hand. It’s just a part of their nature. If something breaks, like an arm on a chair (or an actual arm,) they just wanna pop that sucker right back in. They’ll use a deeper, more masculine voice and say, “I got this. I’ll do it myself. I GOT this.” They won’t ask someone else for directions, but they’ll attempt to re-wire an electrical circuit by themselves. Yea, that totally makes sense.

Us girls, we’re different. If something breaks, we just want to go out and buy a new one. Car isn’t working? Buy a new one! TV channels won’t change? Time for a new TV! Shoelaces wearing thin? Off to the mall for an entirely new pair!

But being in college often leaves us with empty pockets, and it’s not so easy to just go out and replace everything. Sometimes, we gotta learn how to fix things manually, like a man. See the connection? Maybe that’s why “man” is in the word “manually…” Hmmm. Manicure. Nevermind.

When beauty products break or turn faulty, panic sets in. It’s soo tempting to go out and replace them at once. We all know what’s it’s like to go to put on our favorite Chanel lipstick, only to find it’s been smushed and broken and we can’t put it on as well as usual, and we end up looking like this. Or when our favorite Lancome eye shadow has shattered and turn to bits and pieces and our purses are covered in thick shimmer (which is a pain in the ass to clean). Or when our best Estee nail polish won’t even open, and we’re left using Wet n’ Wild. Oh, the horror.

Realsimple.com offers some explanations as to why such products cause us problems and offers useful tips on how to fix our most common cosmetic disasters, like a “faulty pump spring” in your perfume or “clogged nozzle” on your hand lotion.

And as for you boys who think you’re all so rough n’ tough? At least we can fix our faulty pump springs while asking for directions at the same time. In yo face, suckas!