The Politician And The Prostitute

You might not have heard that Randall Tobias, director of U.S. Foreign Assistance and administrator of the U.S. Agency for International Development, stepped down from his political posts on Friday. Even if you did hear, you might not have cared. Because, I mean, who is the guy?

By Jess

Right. He’s just some old, white dude who used to have a long title. But his reasons for resigning are more interesting than you might think. The State Department claimed that Tobias resigned for “personal reasons”. Personal as in, whoops I paid for prostitutes!

Yup. Tobias himself revealed to ABC News last week that he had been a client of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the alleged “D.C Madam” who supposedly ran an escort service that catered to some pretty high profile Washington D.C clients.

Palfrey herself is currently in court, fighting a federal racketeering and money-laundering indictment, and pages and pages of personal client information are being inspected in the process.

While Tobias claims that he hired “gals come over to the condo to give me a massage”, he denies any sexual contact. Palfrey also denies sex as being a component to her girls’ work, although any person with half a brain knows that escort service is basically synonymous with “high class prostitute”.

While I really don’t care what old white dudes do in the bedroom, I’ve always found it strange that these high powered men continually stoop to such stupid levels. Remember Ted Haggard? He was also a fan of “massages”, he just preferred his with a side order of Meth.

These men spend three fourths of their lives moving up in the ranks, reach the pinnacle of their careers, and then blow everything for sex? For sex?! (oh. excuse me. I mean, for massages?!) Is it just a case of I’m-So-Important-I-Forget-Rules- Apply-To-Me? Or pure stupidity? Is sex really that important, that vital, to these men? So crucial that they’re willing to get it illegally while risking their entire careers? I mean, I love me some good coital action, but jeopardizing everything else in my life for it seems a little redonkulous.

…Who knows? Maybe Tobias and Haggard were just confused. Maybe they just got the words escort service and professional masseuse mixed up. I mean…they both have S’s in them.