• Condom found in Happy Meal. Hey, better safe than sorry.
• Marilee Jones, dean at MIT, faked her college credentials. Impressive.
• Fashion Find: Multi-Charm ring necklace, $28.99.
• Poll: Would you go under the knife?
• 95 year old lady graduates college!
• Orgasmic new sex toy: The Cone.
• Facebook.com’s office is the shit.
• So, Eve got arrested … then rescued by Sean Penn?

I am pissed at Alec Baldwin. Despite calling his daughter “a rude, thoughtless, little pig” in the now infamously inexcuseable and abusive phone message released by TMZ last week, he forced me to watch the View this morning.

I f@$&ing hate the View and more specifically Rosie O’Donnell, but I am a big fan of Alec as Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock and was certain he would use this opportunity to take some responsibilty for his ridiculous tirade and show the world he is deserving of atleast a tiny bit of compassion. How wrong was I?

Acting as the meat in the middle of a Rosie-WaWa sandwich, Alec spent 20 minutes placing the blame on everyone possible but himself. He cited the guy that released the tape as being a miserable human being who exploited Alec’s dark moment only because he himself had a closet full of deep dark secrets. He then went on to bash all the members of the tabloid media as being evil people with broken souls. And if any one person deserves the blunt of the blame, it is not himself, but rather his unfit, emotionally troubled ex-wife.

Was Alec Baldwin’s apology sincere?

Read More »

I usually spend my mornings drowning in the depressing news of the world, reading about conflicts, bombings, murders and global inequality. So I’ve been happy to find a little something popping up amidst the serious news that I can really relate to: the flat iron.

Admit it. You have one. Everyone has one. Some people like to talk about theirs. Others, like me, do not like to reveal that we put any effort whatsoever into our appearance. But this is a new age of honesty.

Every website from slate.com to style.com is questioning and analyzing the device. They are not bemoaning it in a critical way, but reconciling with its wondrous powers. Their articles say, “yes, flat irons are divine inventions, and we will test out several varieties so you don’t blow $200 on a piece of crap that will fry your hair.”

Slate’s intellectual approach to the flat iron has me sold on a new one, since they rated my precious Chi only an 8.4/10. I have been duped! Apparently, the $189 Hai Elite Digistik is the way to go; it will bless you with smooth hair for five days .

Never again will I trust my Tri-Delt friend Becky for hair advice, even though she has a head of flaxen cornsilk (so unfair!) that she attributes to her Chi. From now on, I will only trust the Ivy Leaguers at Slate, who put their degrees to use by testing out hair products for smart women who like to look good. Like you and me.

Slate’s Flat Iron review:

style.com’s essential hair tools for fall.

“Jesyan”

“Jesake”

“DiGaal”

No, I haven’t fallen asleep on my keyboard. I’m just seeing what the Celebrity Couple Name Maker does with my name and the names of my two boyfriends, Jakey Gyllenhaal and Ryan Gosling.

Although not very creative, this little internet time-killer can help take your mind off those final papers and that weird guy who SOMEHOW got your number and keeps calling every four hours. Read More »

I don’t know why, but for some reason the sight of an American flag waving in front of someone’s house gives me the creeps. I imagine the homeowner sitting in an easy chair just behind the door wearing a pair of boxers and a wife beater and holding a very large shotgun. And a beer.

Oh. And he/she voted for George Bush.

I can’t explain it. I don’t know why American pride makes me think of Republicans, Nascar races and shooting ranges; it just does. (Sidenote: Please do not send anthrax to my house).

Personally, I don’t know how proud I am to be an American. Lucky, yes, I am very lucky. Luckier than I ever knew until I began to see the deplorable conditions so many people live in around the world. The depression, the poverty, and the lack of opportunity. For that, I am so grateful. At the same time, however, I can’t be proud of the way my country has acted these past few years. I can’t walk into a restaurant in another country and feel proud to tell everyone there that I am from America. Instead I walk in fear hoping they won’t know. Read More »

Yup. My brother and I had another lovely convo on IM. And in this exciting installment, we learn many things, including:

1. Guys will sleep with an annoying girl — but not date her

2. Britney Spears still isn’t hot. No matter what the pics say

3. EVERYONE knows who Sanjaya is

4. My brother has a grammar problem.

(23:22) Me: Do guy think Paris Hilton is hot?

(23:22) The Bro: um

(23:23) The Bro: she’s bangable

(23:23) The Bro: like…she’s not celebrity hot

(23:23) The Bro: and she’s not date-able

(23:23) The Bro: I think most sane men would agree.

(23:23) The Bro: No one wants to spend time with her…but…I doubt many men would turn down free sex with her, assuming no consequences

(23:24) Me: but her stupidly and selfishness and self-serving attitude doesn’t diminish her attractiveness?

(23:26) The Bro: Yes and no

(23:26) The Bro: I mean, there’s 2 categories:

(23:26) The Bro: bangable and date-able

(23:26) The Bro: her attitude makes her not just unattractive to date but undateable in my opinion

(23:26) The Bro: Id rather live alone the rest of my life then date her

(23:27) The Bro: as far as sexual attraction…for men (and you know this)…attitude means little at first. After you get to know a women that could change her sexiness…but like…if a dude meets a lady at a bar, and she’s looking good, and its happening, the guy isn’t gonna be like, “I can’t do this, she’s annoying”. Anyone who says that they’d hesitate is fat or has never had sex or both. Read More »

Guys like to fix things by hand. It’s just a part of their nature. If something breaks, like an arm on a chair (or an actual arm,) they just wanna pop that sucker right back in. They’ll use a deeper, more masculine voice and say, “I got this. I’ll do it myself. I GOT this.” They won’t ask someone else for directions, but they’ll attempt to re-wire an electrical circuit by themselves. Yea, that totally makes sense.

Us girls, we’re different. If something breaks, we just want to go out and buy a new one. Car isn’t working? Buy a new one! TV channels won’t change? Time for a new TV! Shoelaces wearing thin? Off to the mall for an entirely new pair!

But being in college often leaves us with empty pockets, and it’s not so easy to just go out and replace everything. Sometimes, we gotta learn how to fix things manually, like a man. See the connection? Maybe that’s why “man” is in the word “manually…” Hmmm. Manicure. Nevermind. Read More »

Buy Fergie’s panties, you say? Are you just hoping they’re not the panties she peed in while onstage? Eww, I just grossed myself out. Anyway, you can get your own (new and clean) pair of these sexy panties from Shop Intuition. These Steven Alan Ruffle Panties are peppy and playful, yet sexy and innocent at the same time. They’re 100% cotton, super comfortable and perfect for under a skirt when you’re afraid you might flash someone. No returns on this item, obvi.

It’s sex week for New York Magazine, which means each and every day they’re posting a “sex diary” of a New Yorker. Like a food diary, but for sex! So far, the diaries have been funny, raunchy, poignant and sad, elucidating the plight of a dad who isn’t getting any, a pathetic single gal pondering match.com and a rowdy bachelor, among others. Today’s diary might be of special interest to many of you, for it is that of the “The Crazy Co-ed,” aka you and me… kind of. The diary-writer really can’t keep her hands out of her pants, which has me ask: who has that kind of time in college? Plus, she claims to be sleeping with her 64-year old prof. Everyone knows emeriti aren’t too keen on office hours. I smell a rat. Regardless, it’s a novel idea to keep a sex diary, but mainly only works for those who aren’t having any (real) sex.

Check it out:

Lady Sovereign: Those Were The Days

From the album Public Warning. Buy it here.