Ask the RA: Should I Hook-up While Someone Else Is In the Room?

So you’ve already asked yourself whether or not you should hook-up with someone on your floor…now you need to know if hooking-up is acceptable while someone else is in the room with you and your hook-up partner.

Well I say, once again, it depends on each individual situation. Being an RA, I was always lucky enough to have a very large single dorm room all to myself; however, I did date guys that had roommates and you know, sometimes you just want to be somewhere different! Anyway, here are a few questions to ask yourself before committing this somewhat scandalous act.

1. Will you be loud enough to wake the roommate? I mean, I’m all for free expression but no one wants to be an extra in a porno. If you think you won’t be able to control your moans, then maybe you should take the party elsewhere. It’s just plain awkward if someone gets up and goes “uhhh…do you mind” while you’re in the middle of doing the nasty.

2. Is the roommate uptight enough to get pissed off (even if you aren’t loud)? The beauty of college is that you’re surrounded by people from different places and different backgrounds. So it’s important to remember that not everyone is entirely comfortable with sex, not everyone grew up with liberal parents from a city, and not everyone can even express their discomfort with this type of situation.

It’s been my experience that this is the most closeted reason for roommate problems because no one wants to admit that they are “the loser” who has a problem with their roommate hooking-up in their own room. I say that you should feel out what kind of person you’re living with, get a sense of their background and then make the decision whether or not to do the deed while they’re two feet away.

3. Is it in bad taste or just plain exciting? We all like a little excitement and yes, having someone else sleeping a few feet away makes the whole thing even more fun than it already is…however, no one wants to be known as the slut who bangs with other people right there. Be aware that word could spread (faster than your legs) and that it could have repercussions in the end.