Am I glad the school year is over!
Not because it means I’ll get a break from working hours and hours and getting little to no sleep—mama has to work three jobs this summer—but because it means I’ll get a break from staring at a professor I have recently decided I am in love with.
I went through my entire high school and college careers without so much as a crush on any Prof, and now I find myself finishing a year of grad school during which I was unable to have a scholarly discussion with a scholar because of how awesome he was.
Was he raging hot? No. But was he insanely talented and funny and smart? Yup. Did he constantly make me laugh? Share my same opinions about the arts? Yes. And does he have a girlfriend? Of course. Is she attractive? She’s an actress who’s been in movies.
But I didn’t think about that when he was around. In fact, I didn’t think about much. Which was sorta too bad, considering he was in a position to critique a lot of my work. He would say, “This isn’t doing exactly what it could” and I would hear, “Hey. You’re cute. Wanna date me?”
TILF’s are an interesting phenomenon. Most of them are 5 to 10 years older than their lovesick students (mine is a few years behind 40. I know. It freaks me out a little too. But he has a young face. He does!), only mildly attractive, and usually aren’t the easiest professors in school. They challenge us while making us feel smart. They treat us like adults but keep us in line. They make us laugh but make us work. And most importantly, they’re smart. Much like those musicians, the reality of a TILF’s prettiness hardly matters when everything else is in place. Their personalities alone are enough to get us all hot and bothered.
Combine that awesomeness with a dash of ‘Don’t Stand So Close to Me’ –esque forbidden love, and you’ve got yourself a crush that chases you home at night and makes you stumble over your words during the day.
As someone who’s almost never at a loss for words, and who definitely doesn’t stumble over them, I must admit that my TILF makes me drop sentences out of my mouth which not only crash and burn, but flare up into multi-acre forest fires. One minute I’ll be saying something smart, and the next I’ll be staring at his smile and literally forgetting what I was talking about. No one likes to look stupid in front of someone they’re sweet on, but going Paris Hilton in front of Professor Sex Dream?! Ugh. Like, totally, not hot.
At least I’ll have three months to think of neat things to say come September. And who knows? Maybe by then he’ll have dropped his perfect, long-term girlfriend and decide that breaking all the rules and endangering his job is a small price to pay for the chance to date me.
What do you think girls? Anyone else got a case of the TILFs?