Breaking Up with your Ex’s stuff

Brace yourself, girls. We’re about to talk about Ex’s. Specifically, the stuff they leave behind.

By Jess

So. The relationship has ended. Maybe just the other day. Maybe last month, even last year, but whatever the time span, one thing is clear—the two of you are done.

As you move through the process of reshaping your life and standing up as a single individual, the question of stuff almost always comes up. Stuff. Their stuff. The stuff they’ve left behind, and more importantly, the stuff they’ve given to you.

The longer the relationship, the more stuff you’ve probably acquired. Jewelry, pictures, mix tapes, love notes, used sweatshirts that smell like him…the list varies and can go on for miles (depending on the deepness of your used-to-be partner’s pockets, or at least his thoughtfulness). Now that he’s not in your life anymore, what should you do with all that stuff?

The answer to this question usually changes depending on how a relationship has ended. If things finished up nice and clean and friendly, part of you might want to keep a few things as mementos of a beautiful part of your life. The expensive things don’t hurt to wear, and hey, they’re nice! Keeping them in your wardrobe is no big deal, and since they were picked out in love, more often than not, they’re some of the best things you own.

If the relationship crashed and burned, keeping anything that even slightly reminds you of your Ex is probably a very, very bad idea. I know he gave you an amazing necklace, and that picture he took of the ocean is beautiful, but do those things bring you any joy?

If the answer is no, then giving them away may be your only recourse. Sell them on eBay (making cash off your misery isn’t the worst thing you could do), ask someone to take them away and keep them hidden, or just bite the bullet, put them all in a box, and send them off to the Salvation Army. If you’re trying to move on, no matter how nice the stuff is, it’s pretty much guaranteed to remind you of that person who sucked.

Personal Example: An Ex of mine gave me a beautiful ring during happier times, and for two years I kept it in a jewlery box, unable to wear and unable to part with it. Every time I would try it on, the energy attached would effect me, forcing me to think about a person I had long ago parted ways with and never wanted to see again (he’s the kind of Ex that, if we ever do happen to cross paths in the future, I can’t guarantee someone who isn’t me won’t end up in the emergency room). The ring was hella nice, but there was no way around the fact that it reminded me of him and the shitty stuff he did.

So I gave it away.

And you know? I don’t regret it one bit.

Ultimately, you have to do what works for you. No one’s relationship ends like anyone else’s, and picking up your pieces is all about personal strength and personal decisions. If you can keep those reminders of past love, go for it. If they give you trouble, don’t pressure yourself into keeping them. Nicer things will come your way, as well as nicer partners.

Now if you don’t mind, mama’s off to buy herself some well deserved designer duds. Gotta keep the love alive somehow, right?