Opposites DON’T attract: Jess and John are no more!

oompa loompaUh oh.

Looks like Jessica’s new hair color wasn’t enough to convince John Mayer she was indie enough to be his girlfriend.

Everyone’s favorite gossip whore has just posted an exclusive clip about the break-up of one of the weirdest celebrity couples out there, J. Simpson and J. Mayer.

No clues as to why the relationship ended as of yet, but I mean, we can all guess, can’t we? Mayer, known for his musical talent as well as his thought-provoking lyrics and global awareness, and Simpson, known for her boobs, MTV reality series, and creepy, lecherous father, probably didn’t have much to talk about once they hopped out of bed.

It was obvious to everyone that Johnny Boy felt uncomfortable in the relationship from the start, denying he was dating Jessica in the beginning, and always looking so damn serious every time the two where photographed together. Don’t worry, J-Dog. We’ve all dated that lame, hot person in a fit of carnal weakness.

As for Jessica, girl needs to find herself a man who isn’t embarrassed to be around her and enjoys belting out pop songs written by somebody else just as much as she does.

Jess, you can do better. I mean, the dude looks like zombie in most pictures. He’s got a nice voice and stuff but…he ain’t no Nick Lachey. Know what I mean?

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