A Guide for Guys: Why We Fake It

Sex I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I am every man’s dream woman; it only takes two beers to get me drunk and, unlike most women, it doesn’t take much to get me going. A guy needs only to look in my direction if he wants to rile me up and finish me off. It’s amazing that I was single for so long. The problem with such perks comes with the reputation that spreads. I was once known as “Quickie McClimax” or “Anyone-Can-Get-Her-Off Girl” amongst some of my peers and one-night bedmates. Now, I don’t really care what people think of me or say about me, but it becomes a problem when a reputation like this precedes me.

What happens when a guy can’t get me off? Well, I’ll tell you.

I am forced to fake it.

And I am sure you all have been there too. We all know men hate it when a woman resorts to faking it, but there is a lot that goes into that decision that they just don’t understand. If you ever find yourself tongue tied when trying to explain your reasoning for faking it, print out this bad boy and hand it to your man.

1) We don’t want you to feel inadequate: My friend thinks this is the worst excuse ever. He claims that he would rather a girl tell him what to do than fake it. Well Ryan, unfortunately most guys are not like you, or most girls are not willing to sit up in bed with a chalkboard and map in order to get off. Needless to say, it kind of ruins the moment. The truth is most women are not as easy to please as I am, and it has nothing to do with the guy. If some guy goes down on a girl three or four times and still can’t get her off he may begin to think he is bad in bed and therefore unworthy of life when it is really just her difficult vagina. If she fakes it, however, she makes the guy feel better about himself, which will make this late-night relationship a much happier one. If you think about it faking it is a real compliment; it means that the woman really cares about you and your feelings.

2) It still feels fabulous: We are not men – things still feel pretty damn good regardless if we finish. I know a girl who can never get off from sex, but does that deter her? NO! She is the biggest sex fiend I know. Does it deter her man? NO! He is getting his (on a daily basis), and that is all he really cares about.

3) It is God-awful and it needs to stop: Now, here is a problem I can relate to. It is a situation like this that makes my gift a difficult one to have. When a guy knows that it doesn’t take much to please me he expects it to happen. When it doesn’t happen, he thinks something is wrong with him. He is right. I am forced to fake it in order to save his ego (see #1) in addition to making him stop whatever horrible thing he is doing in order to walk out of there pain free. Trying to sit up and explain what is going wrong and how to make it better would be futile and a waste of my time; why risk even more pain and suffering when I can merely fake it, kick the kid out and finish up on my own?

The fact that women fake it is a harsh reality to men. But, let’s face it, it is a harsh world out there. Men may not understand or agree, but those of us who have been in that situation know that we don’t do it for our own kicks – in fact, we would rather not have to do it at all, but sometimes (very rarely for me) it’s our only choice.

Travis says:
Tue, 22nd May 20077:27 pm

Another side to faking it, when HE has to do it… much harder to pull off and Im assuming far less comon, but Ive had to do it and I know and have talked to a lot of guys that admited to doing it, so maybe not as uncomon as one would think. Seems like girls assume the “Quickie McClimax” reputation for guys and if he cant get off its something wrong with him.

Rick says:
Wed, 23rd May 200712:21 am

“We don’t want you to feel inadequate… Well Ryan, unfortunately most guys are not like you…”

This is an assumption that women make that is entirely false. Men would definitely prefer that you show them instead of faking it. Faking it is not doing anybody any favors.

He is going to think he is doing it right, so guess what he will be doing next time? Show him what to do (just show him what YOU do), and you will both be happier.

“If you think about it faking it is a real compliment…”

Yeah, it means she doesn’t care enough to be honest and show him what to do. Nice.

Maj. Bob Taddeo says:
Thu, 24th May 20074:47 pm

You know, with some of us, we don’t need our women to “fake” it. Hey-o! P.S. You should have titled this “that’s what SHE said (and lied about ’cause she was faking it)”. P.S. Blair is hot.

Emily says:
Tue, 19th Jun 20071:26 pm

Giude for Guys: Why We Fake It: because we’re too scared or immature to actually grow up and tell you.

Anyone who is so scared to tell their partner shouldn’t be with that partner in the first place. And anyone who is, isn’t going to get orgasms often anyhow because they can’t relax enough in bed to actually open up and tell their partner how to get them off.

Rob says:
Wed, 27th Jun 200710:03 pm

Here is a great angle…fake all you want, I don’t care.

As long as I get to cum, I couldn’t care if you recite the pledge of allegiance. Knock yourself out, scream, yell, make all the groans/moans/squeeks that make you feel like a natural woman – i came. Put on a show, and I’ll buy a ticket next time too, as long as I get to cum again.

Matt says:
Tue, 4th Sep 20073:43 pm

I agree with Major Bob and Rick, some of us dont need it faked, and you dont need to fake it.

Unless your a heartless ladykiller like rob usually the girl your with you care about and you want them to be pleased…them being pleased…pleases us…and no faking it doesn’t take care of that. So if you’re with a guy that can’t get the job done fuckin tell him how to do it…unless the problem is the inadequacy of his member its almost 100% of the time fixable.

btw, guys do fake it too…i’ve done it…’whiskey dick’ is a big contributing factor. A long day of work or school is too…believe it or not…sometimes guys just aren’t in the mood…

And regardless of what sneaky tricks you think your playing on us…any guy who’s gotten more than one girl to orgasm can tell when your faking it…

The usual response to this is to finish up and leave…ever wonder why some guys dont call back girls? theres your answer…faking it and being discovered hurts their ego, and they’re view of you FAR more than not getting there. Most guys know it’s a task to get a woman off, and in some cases very difficult…this they understand and have learned to live with. So don’t kid yourself and think your doing us a favor by faking it…cause your not doing yourself much of a favor either.

Cory says:
Wed, 12th Sep 20072:04 am

The only problem I see with faking it, and this is more for all the girls in long term relationships than you single girls, is that when you are forced to fake it, you are making the guy believe that he is doing something right (to save his ego right?), but the problem is that he wont have any reason to try doing it any differently, hence, you will have to keep faking it.

Ladies, when he “puts her there” don’t be afraid to guide him a little bit (body language, directing with hands, not barking orders), it wont slow things down enough to where either of you will want to stop the whole thing, and it will pay off in the long run.

Trust me, his ego is not THAT small, he wants to know how to please you, so show him, and he will come through…and you can say goodbye to your days of faking it – which we both know you don’t want to have to do.

If you’re having consistent trouble reaching climax, then here’s a secret option number b that you might not have ever thought of: It might not be all the guys fault. Sex is really something the couple needs to experiment on together, the female can’t have an orgasm unwillingly, so keep in mind that you have control of your muscles, and the little things are what make it sexy (hint: when he’s on top of you, grab his ass, and pull him in tightly, and now you have control, and you can move your pelvis at your own pace, so that you can feel every movement). I’ll be damned if you guys aren’t having orgasms, damnit.

Darren says:
Mon, 1st Oct 20076:51 pm

Dis girl a slut, nobody care if a slut fakes it or not, I dont agree with rob but most guys dont care thats bad but its true. sluts are worthless.

nude0007 says:
Sun, 10th Feb 200811:38 am

Women who like to have sex are not sluts and are wonderful! Men (or women) who call these women sluts have no respect for themselves or others. People who go into sex only wanting to please themselves are missing the point and a far greater experience. It makes me feel great when I know I can give someone else pleasure! WOW! what an awesome thing to be able to do!

FAKING IT? Bad all around. I think that the men who are only out to get their rocks off are decreasing in number. Of course, young men are often like that because they only think of themselves. A more mature man knows that giving pleasure is far more fun and satisfying.

telling a guy what to do doesn’t really spoil the moment, the body will respond and things will be better. Hopefully next time the guy will remember what he did right.

tell it like it is.. says:
Wed, 13th Feb 20082:59 am

Matt shut up.. did u even read any of that crap she put down?

If so u will tell that she dont really care about telling u for some reason. Y should u get worked up about it? i know i dont give a crap..

this is what i say.. if u have a itch tell me where to scratch or i cant do f all for u.

so if u dont tell me what u want shut the hell up and leave it.. FULL FING STOP!

Layin the smack down says:
Mon, 14th Jul 20083:15 am

girls who fake it are immature sluts really.. i mean c’mon. when in a meaningful relationship why the fuck would u want to fake anything? Im pissed off at this article its so stupid and really makes women seem dumb, just like all those cosmo magazines etc. like seriously , i guess women are too stupid to ask their partners what gets them off.. any woman should be offended by this garbage.

Star says:
Wed, 19th Aug 20097:48 pm

I disagree that men don’t care. Some say they don’t but every man I’ve ever ran into was absolutely crushed that he couldn’t get me off. He wanted to do it and he cared more about that then getting off himself. And I just couldn’t let the poor boy down and make him think something was wrong just because I couldn’t get off.

And no, I’m not offended by this “garbage” as Layin the smack down (great name by the way, sounds like someone has a large ego) called it. Those who don’t agree probably just haven’t been in a position where they felt they should fake it. Because the problem with the human race is that they all love to run their mouths and call each other sluts to hide the fact that the person doing the name calling usually a rich snob or a slut themselves.