Dancing with the Stars Drops American Idol!

By Candy

My finals are done – Organic Chem is still boring – but all just in time for Reality Show Finale time!!!

Ironically, American Idol and its cast of sellouts have been the king of their timeslot for a long time. They have been unbeatable! Alas, last night my future husband, Apolo Ono smacked down Simon Cowell, drunk Paula and the “Dog Pound” guy. Apolo beat out N-SYNC Joey, with the help of that horrifically cute and flexible blonde (damn her).

American Idol, on the other hand, was quasi-painful. I know it has made them a lot of money, but it is way TOO formulaic.

Singer sings with various arm movements and “riffing,” maybe a stroll through the audience. Singer finishes. Ryan pretends he is straight. Randy “shouts out” to his “dog pound” while “keeping it real.” Paula has a swig of whatever is in her Coke cup while kissing the singer’s ass. Simon, clad in white or black t-shirt, is honest and blunt amid a shower of boos. Back to Ryan, playing it straight.

There is only so much of that a person can be humanly asked to endure. American Idol, you are killing me. For next year, please try and mix it up. Dancing with the Stars – watch yourself! You are treading VERY close – albeit you have different people playing different roles, but the formula is looking a little predictable.

Note for the audience – easy with the boos. They are like curses – if you curse all the time, it loses its bite. A random “F^$& YOU!” goes a lot further than “F^$& THIS, F^$& THAT!” My peeps, please, keep it down. These singers and dancers are SUPPOSED TO SUCK! That is what keeps us coming back. You can’t boo people for telling the truth (though I wish you could).

Y’all gotta keep it real and holla only when its warranted!