College Candy

Ah, summer. Hot days, warm nights, small amounts of clothing…and ample time for hook-ups. The summer fling is one of the most romanticized aspects of girl/guy relating, its short time span giving it all the more potential for passion and excitement.

But is it really all “Summer Lovin’”? Really as simple and sweet as we’ve been led to believe? The fact that I’m even asking these questions probably means summer flings are more complicated than 3 months of running hand-in-hand down the beach, but keeping a few things in mind can help make your next summer adventure as drama free as possible.

This edition of Summer Do’s and Don’ts brings you: Summer Flings.

Do use the summer to chat up different kinds of people. Your summer job or internship may lead down interesting paths and into interesting groups. Keep an open mind and use these months to reinvent yourself—in a good way, of course. Who knows? You might just meet a future hottie marching in a protest for Greenpeace or during your lunch break in the staff room.

Don’t fast forward the relationship just because the summer is short. Subtracting the amount of time you’d normally sleep with or get serious with someone because you’re moving or leaving in a few months is not a good idea. You could overlook key aspects of their personality (like a dominant asshole gene), or “forget” to do the STD talk. If this summer fling is meant to last, it will, regardless of how fast you jump in the sack.

Do take advantage of these warm summer nights and long summer days. Go on adventurous dates; hiking, rock climbing, driving without a destination, staying on the beach until the stars come out…use the weather to your advantage, and impress that special someone with your creative energy!

Don’t let the fact that the fall could potentially split the two of you up ruin your enthusiasm. Sure, it could happen, but stopping something good because you’re afraid of getting hurt is lame. Not to get all Oprah on you, but life is about living! Plus, we only get to do it once.

Do make sure to fill your flame in on your fall plans. No one likes to be ambushed, and lying about where you’ll be going or what you’ll be doing (or just “forgetting” to say anything) is a surefire way to mess up something good. Your sweetie won’t hold your fall plans against you, and if they do, well, they’re not really worth being your sweetie in the first place.

Don’t try to turn a fling into a romance if it doesn’t want to be one. There are such things as short, healthy relationships. You both know it isn’t meant to last forever, but you have a good time together, learn things from each other, and have fun in the process. Dragging out these types of relationships is painful for everyone. Just be truthful from the beginning, and go forward with a clear and agreed upon plan. When it comes time to end things, you might feel strangely emotional and attached, but give yourself some time to think things over before calling your fling up and asking for a commitment. You may just be suffering from the post-fling blues.

Most importantly, have fun and take care of yourself! All year you’ve written papers on someone else’s time clock, studied for someone else’s tests, and been told what to think by someone else’s mouth. Summer is about stretching and recuperating. Be good to you, and amazing things will follow.

…that last sentence was almost zen enough to be in a fortune cookie, huh?