Summer Do’s and Don’ts — Summer Parties

Parties are fun. They’re even more fun when they’re outside. Whether you’re a bonfire enthusiast, a backwoods aficionado, a raging – kegger – at – someone’s – house – where – something – valuable – always – gets – broken frequenter, or a small porch gathering kinda gal, there’s no arguing that summer puts the S (sound) in celebration.

By Jess

During these warm months, there’s no Public Safety vehicle to worry about, no possibility of getting caught with a cocktail in your dorm room, and no cute guy across the hall to worry about when you wake up the next morning looking and feeling like hell. These summer perks have their downsides, however. Downsides! You say, downsides to complete freedom? Come on, as if! (I’ve decided your inner thoughts sound a lot like Cher in Clueless)

But really, ladies, there are a few things that can put a damper on a sizzling good time. That’s why Summer Do’s and Don’ts is back, freshly coated in SPF 15 and fake tanner, to bring you Summer Do’s and Don’ts: Summer Parties.

Do make sure you know the place and the person who’s throwing this shindig. House parties are much more frequent now, and the amount of people you’ve met in college combined with the amount of people your friends have met usually means you will find yourself at a place that is the very opposite of familiar to you. If you’re going to a friend of a friend’s house or apartment, find out their name and the address of the place. Get your own directions, even if you’re going with people. Be self sufficient and prepared.

Do bring your cell phone. I don’t care if you’d rather not be carrying a purse all night, a cell phone is a must at any and all parties. Especially those parties that take place in the woods or at a stranger’s house.

Don’t put your cell in your back pocket. Phone + back pocket + being tipsy + going pee = phone in the toilet. I’ve lost 2 phones this way (yet never admitted to Verizon why it looks as though the phone has been dunked in water). Learn from my mistake.

Do make your own drink and keep it in your grasp all night. House parties usually mean homemade concoctions, and whether or not you paid a cover, you want to make sure the drink maker isn’t being too stingy—or too generous—with the liquor. No one wants to be that girl Who Got So Wasted She Danced In The Backyard Half Naked, and drinking too much too fast will get you there, or worse. Plus, people can be desperate and creepy. If you take control of your alcohol intake, there’s no way someone can mess with you.

Don’t drink too much. I know, I know, I sound like your mother, but honestly, getting obliterated is never a good way to spend an evening. You act stupid, you sound stupid, and every loser guy within five feet knows what a drunk girl looks like. We could all use a little liquid energy or courage now and then, but getting blasted just plain spells trouble.

Do go with friends—and leave with them. A lot of times, we’ll find our soulmate (or at least soulmate for the night) at these parties, and the temptation to ditch our friends for him or her can be high. Don’t do it! Not only will your friends be annoyed, but a stranger is not always the best person to depend on.

Don’t stay at a party that seems shady. Feel like the cops might show up? Leave. Chances are, those gut feelings are right, and we all know what it feels like to hear the dreaded “Shit! Police!” If you feel weird, just leave quietly. Going home a little early sure beats running through the woods, dodging flashlights and branches like you’re on Law and Order.

Do use the time to meet different people. This isn’t college. No one’s going to be talking about who you talked to or who you smiled at the next day. Have fun, branch out. Talk to that slightly nerdy guy in the corner with the cute smile. If he turns out to be a mouth breather with a horrible sense of humor, you won’t have to see him ever again!

Lastly, and oh so importantly, Don’t drive drunk. Even if you’ve only had a beer or two, and feel fine, don’t get behind the wheel. Call a friend, call your parents, call a taxi, just don’t drive. You might not kill anyone or get into an accident, but getting stopped by the cops and being charged with a DUI sucks. Just ask Lindsay.