Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride…And That’s Fine With Me!

After just returning home from my older brother’s wedding over the weekend, I am feeling the physical repercussions, which can only mean I had a kick-ass time: two tired feet, a bunch of sore muscles and one hell of a hangover. And get this: I didn’t even have a date.

By Candy

Being that this was my first real wedding experience and I was a bridesmaid, I got to see what really goes on behind the scenes of a twenty-something wedding. I realized many things about love and relationships and the craziness that is planning for such an occasion.

Weddings are special because they allow you to bond with family, as you all witness together, the bond between husband and wife become sacred and, hopefully, one that actually sticks in the end.

But I was already aware of that mushy stuff much going into it, and, sure, I wanted to bring along my own special someone to share it with.What I didn’t know is just how much weddings make for fabulous places to party, meet members of the opposite sex and opportunities to better appreciate life as a single girl! Woohooo! Let’s make some memories, people.

I’ve heard many, many girls whine and complain about having to go to a wedding stag, dateless and alone. I was one of them. Most girls would rather be attacked by the plague than go to one of these things by themselves.

After all, at this point in life, you can’t find a more romantic date than a wedding. And just like back in the days of prom or any other function that involves the purchase of a new dress, as soon as a female hears about a potential wedding or opens an envelope to reveal that holy invitation, the first thing that pops into her mind is, “Oh my god, who will be my date!?! What if I don’t have a date? I’ll DIE, I’ll just DIE. Great. That’s it. My life is over. Thanks, Cindy and Mark. Thanks a lot.”

I’ll admit, before breaking up with my boyfriend of three years, I had every intention of bringing him to my brother’s wedding. But, alas, there I was, broken up – stag, dateless and alone, worrying about having to sit on the sidelines during slow songs at the reception and having no one to gaze at lovingly during the ceremony while I imagined my own wedding.

If you find yourself in a similar solitary position, do not fret. Once you accept the fact you’re going to a wedding without a date, realize that if you can get through this, you can get through anything….jump any hurdle….climb any mountain. Okay, maybe it’s not that extreme, but you’ll definitely be one step closer to becoming that strong, confident, Independent Woman…and maybe have a kick-ass time like I did, or even get some action while you’re there!

Based on my weekend wedding extravaganza, here are some factors to consider as you leave that guest box on the RSVP (don’t cry) unchecked:

The Open Bar. Wedding parties (well, good ones anyway) always have an open bar. Once you get a couple of drinks in your system, you’ll loosen up and love the fact that they are free drinks which won’t take any money out of your poor, college pockets. Make friends with the bartender. Become one with the bartender. Hang at the bar and skim the room for hotties who you will soon fearlessly hit on. Preferably, dateless hotties, as a wedding is no place for a cat fight.

The “Fast” Dancing. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever danced so much in my life than I did at my brother’s wedding, and it was sooo much fun. Why? Because I had nothing and no one holding me back, and no boy pouting about having to dance the Electric Slide, which, by the way, never gets old.

The people who dance at weddings are usually the ones who are the most fun there. The dancers mainly consist of (1) dorky family members with horrible yet hilarious moves and (2) the fun groomsmen and bridesmaids who love to drink and party. If you’re not a bridesmaid and you haven’t had a chance to get in with them or the groomsmen, get to know these people on the dance floor. Before you know it, you’ll be drunkenly doing the MC Hammer and loving every minute of it.

The “Slow” Dancing. Ahh, the slow dance. Either the best thing in the world or the worst. We’ve all been there: the beat slows down as everyone scrambles to find a partner. Some weddings only play a couple slow songs, and in my case, there were only two. During the first slow song, I sat at my chair and thought about getting back together with my ex, so that I would never be faced with this situation ever again. I thought I was done with this stuff back in high school!

But, during the second slow song, I found the courage to walk right over to the *very* cute and *very* single best man and I asked him to dance. If I hadn’t have been cutting it up with him during the fast songs, like Jessie’s Girl, I may never have bonded with him in the first place. I realized I had a lot more guts than I thought, and slow dancing with the guy I’d been eyeing all night was definitely a romantic highlight.

The Guys. Weddings are crawling with single guys. Men don’t really care about going to these things with dates, because a lot of them are just as happy hanging out with other guy friends in a totally heterosexual way.

So, you’ve been drinking, you’ve been dancing, you’re wearing a great, new, sexy dress and you’re single. Unlike all the coupled-up girls, you can chat up every boy in the whole damn place – take your pick! You may not have arrived at the wedding with a guy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t leave with one.

Date or no date, have fun at your next wedding experience. Relish in your singleness, because before you know it, you’ll be married and boring. And that husband of yours is just one more thing that may hold you back from dancing the awesome Electric Slide.