Memorial Day With Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie is whacked!!! Someone needs to throw her into an unmarked van and force her to live in a psychiatric ward until she can start acting like a normal human.

By Jess

Not only did Nicole throw a barbeque on Memorial Day that almost killed Mischa Barton, but the invitation to that barbeque is so stupid I have a headache (any and all punctuation attempted by yours truly):

“My fellow Americans, its that time of year! To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer. Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream, take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems. Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans. Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!”

Richie ends her email with:

“There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!”

Since when is it okay to mock everyone who’s tried to help you get healthy, as well as mock the obvious fact that you’re still really, really sick? Richie insists the email, leaked to the press a few days ago, was a “joke”, but far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter if it’s a joke or not. She’s an idiot who’s setting a horrible example for young girls everywhere and still desperately needs help.

And if all that wasn’t enough, Ms. Idiot was photographed getting a pedicure and completely ignoring cops who ticketed her car for being parked illegally. PerezHilton writes “After getting her nails done, Nicole failed to pick up her citation – tucked underneath her windshield wiper. Then – probably thinking it was “funny” – she turned the wipers on in an attempt to get rid of the ticket.”

I try not to believe tabloids, but with this girl, anything is possible. Her dad needs to stop dancing on the ceiling and get his daughter some help—while he’s at it, teach her some grammar.