Beware the Best Girl Friend
Every relationship is full of traps and pitfalls, and the ones that most often persevere are the ones that feature open communication and an absence of secrets. Oh yeah… it also helps if the guy doesn’t have a best girl friend, who very well may be lying in the weeds, just waiting for your relationship to falter.
Although almost no one ever agrees with me when I say this, I maintain that it’s nearly impossible for guys and girls to be very close friends without sex getting in the way at some point. Obviously, there are exceptions to this, such as if significant others are involved and all three or four people are friends, or if the guy or girl is hideously unattractive.
But generally speaking, sex always gets in the way. In my life, I have three very good girl friends, and I’ve hooked up with all of them at one point or another. I believe the only way we’ve been able to maintain these friendships is that we found a way to long ago release the sexual tensions between us and move past that. But believe you me, despite the fact that my physical relationships with these girls had long since ceased, my old girlfriend was forever wary of my friends.
And when I think about it, it makes sense. From a boyfriend’s perspective, you almost always like your best friend more than your girlfriend. You don’t have to deal with the arguments, with the issues, with the “I look waaay too fat to go out tonight’s.”
Instead, you just get the laughs and good times without having to deal with all the excess shit that comes with a serious relationship. Moreover, when a guy fights with his girlfriend, the female best friend is the person he’s immediately going to turn to.
After a while, that becomes attractive to a guy. He looks at all the good times he has with his friend, and then begins to compare them with the rough patches that appear in his relationship, regardless of how solid his relationship actually is. If you compound that with any sort of attraction to the friend, well, then the relationship’s headed for trouble. And if you’re looking for a sign, take note of not only how many times he brings his best girl friend, but also how often he lets you know that you have nothing to worry about. These statements are pretty much directly proportionate to how much he’s thinking about her, and how interested he is. Guys don’t even bother denying if they have nothing to hide.
I’m not saying that you automatically have to hate and scorn your boyfriend’s best girl friend. You don’t want to be the jealous girlfriend who precipitates your relationship’s downfall. But do be wary. The female best friend is uniquely able to position herself just so to be there when a guy in a relationship needs her. And you don’t want to be the girl who’s so incredibly trusting of your guy and his best friend that you suddenly find yourself as the one outside of the relationship.
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Simon says:
Tue, 26th Jun 20071:30 pm
I have another email
theused822@yahoo.com
many says:
Sat, 7th Jul 20071:38 pm
pls send me best pic
Mari says:
Mon, 1st Oct 20075:57 pm
I hate my boyfriends best girl friend. Not only does she come crying to him when her (long distance) boyfriend does somthing shitty but she talked about her dislike for me from the start. She's full of hideous veiled insults.We've talked about it and all I get is a "thats just heather" "she doesn't know shes doing it" "shes my best friend shes just teasing" I love my boyfriend, we're moving in together. But I just can't seem to move past and disreguard this girl. I want her and her bitchface out of my relationship.
Dorothy says:
Sat, 1st Mar 20083:25 pm
OK so my boyfriend has a best friend at college, who also lives like 15mins away when hes home. Its spring break for them (not for me) and him and his best girlfriend and three other people went down to a beach house for the whole week…I was told not to worry there probably just going to sit around and drink, play beer pong, and hotub!…I was just hoping to get any thoughts on this situation.
Side note: He always reassures me that he would never cheat on me.
Monique says:
Thu, 27th Mar 200812:22 am
Dorthy and Mari…HMMM.
anon says:
Sat, 29th Mar 20082:19 am
Ur absolutely right.I was that 'trusting gf' who s now out of the rel with that jerk while he s with his best girl friend and claims he never cheated.
prabhu says:
Fri, 25th Jul 20086:36 am
9843530719 u can make a call
niki says:
Wed, 8th Jul 20091:14 pm
same problem! i was dating my boyfriend since 2/14/07 (2 n a half yrs). his "girl – friend" text him random texts like "no — i like to lick dick :]" or he will text her complaining about me! i think she is a whore but hay thats just me. he says just friends and he only loves me.. what should i do? HELP!
Tiffany says:
Wed, 16th Jun 20103:08 pm
My boyfriend has been friends with this girl Morgan for a while now, ever since our sophomore year of high school. He and I have been dating since our freshman year of high school, but ever since she became his friend things have gotten tense. She’s always calling him about her latest breakup or the most recent whore thing she’s done. Now he’s wanting to move out into an apartment, and since he makes shit money and so do I, he asked Morgan to become our roommate. I backed out, because I can’t stand her and why should I pay for an apartment that I will hate my roommates? Well, he’s fine with that–he’s still going to live with her. And he told her that I think she’s a whore, so now I can’t even come over to the apartment. But HE also thinks she’s a whore, he’s said it lots of times and agreed with me when I said it. He only told her now so that she would be mad at me. We’ve been dating for 6 years, but he’s basically picked her over me even though he “would never do anything with her”. This bitch has ruined our relationship and he’s defending it. So watch out for those “gal pals” because they will sneak up years later and take your man away!!
xxx says:
Wed, 11th May 20111:44 pm
wow this has made me feel a billion times worse..
Whitney says:
Sun, 26th Feb 201210:34 pm
That's basically the story of my relationship. Everything would be PERFECT if she would just disappear. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend HAS chosen me. We broke up for a week once (Mainly because of our arguments over his "friend") and she actually came on to him just two days afterwards, thinking we'd never get back together. She had kept her feelings a secret for him for a year while we were dating and they kissed and talked about dating. Needless to say I was pissed, but when he heard I had come to visit his parents once more to drop off some of his stuff he came running over to my house in a flash when his mom told him.
I was shocked, but he confessed everything that had happened and cried over how guilty he felt and how he regretted it. I couldn't really stay mad at him over it because I pretty much went and kissed another old boyfriend of mine the same day he and her kissed so I had no right to really yell. We were both stupid and wanted to forget each other but couldn't, so we got back together and made love all that night ;P Our relationship is a lot better now.
However, he's still friends with that girl and now we both hate each other. I always felt negative feelings around her though. She was always so rude and vulgar around me and his family! She never even tried to start a friendship with me either. I tried until that old boyfriend of mine told me that she was trying to get "dirt" on me. After that I despised seeing her every time she would come over to hang out. I'm just glad I don't have to hide it anymore.
I hate their friendship, but they are spending less and less time together now i've noticed. They still text of course (I've accidentally read a few….eh) But he's not keeping anything from me. I know he would choose me, no matter what. She was the only friend of his I ever had a problem with. Girl wise anyway, lol. I love the rest of his friends that are girls, but her.
jo says:
Sun, 25th Mar 20129:03 pm
Gahhh same problem over here omg!!!!!!!! I really dislike her and she really gets on my nerves at times!!! B4 my boyfriend and I got together, they were already bestfriends, with all their flirtacious/sexually related pda tweets to each other + drinking sessions overnight meet ups etc. She has a really bad attitude and is known to be a major scheming bitch even with her now non-existent girlfriends(they ditched her cos she went too overboard w the bitching) and she has something against my clique!!!!! My boyfriend tells me that she’s just a really good friend and nothing else but when he starts calling her “bestfriend” or some “cute names” even though he now tells me that I’m his bestfriend, I can’t help feeling angry and jealous. I don’t want to be the jealous-at-everything type of girlfriend but regarding her, I can’t stop myself. My boyfriend knows that I dislike her and well, sometimes he understands and at other times, he scolds me for not being understanding and that I have a male bestfriend. But he doesn’t seem to get that I have boundaries that I don’t cross w my male bestfriend and that includes flirting, be it opening or just via texting. I really don’t know what to do ):