A New Booty Call Trend: “Booty Grazing”

The booty call.

There are two ways of looking at being booty called by the guy you like: as a score! or as an insult. A score because, of all the ladies he could have called, he’s chosen you, and maybe you’re totally up for a casual night yourself. And an insult because, he apparently doesn’t respect you enough to take you out with him, before the allotted booty call time, which normally takes place between the hours of 2 to 3 a.m. on Friday and Saturdays.

I myself was booty called this past weekend, and I had mixed feelings. Seeing his number pop up unexpectedly while I was out with my friends was definitely exciting. But, after his initial text, once I got him on the phone and heard his slurred, jumbled, drunken words that, when properly assembled asked, “Hey, what are you doing later – wanna meet up?” was a blow to the ego. Am I not good enough to hang out with, sans booty?

And just like many other questions that only require an answer consisting of a few words – like “Where’s the party” or “Did you remember to buy cheese,” these days, people communicate through text messages more than they do phone calls. These days, booty calls are no exception. People don’t even have the decency to pop the question with their vocal chords, and instead punch in a few measly letters and symbols in hopes of getting lucky.

This newfound source of communication brings up a whoooole new batch of insecurities for the booty callees. What if you’re not the only girl receiving that text? What if, you’re just one girl in a slew of hoochies’ numbers in his phonebook, getting the same single, mass text at that very same moment? How can you even decipher this? Impossible!

And this, my friends, is the definition of “Booty Grazing.”

First introduced in this Myspace page, the second I heard the term Booty Grazing, I immediately thought of a bunch of cows. Cows, grazing…you get the connection. And then I thought of booty grazing as a combination of a booty call, mixed with a cattle call, which is really what it is: one solitary text sent out to more than one person, in hopes that one recipient will respond positively and make the booty grazer’s night a success. Or, should I say, succsex? Haha…

And then I thought….was I booty grazed last weekend?

I say, now that texting has come into play to get some play, beware of the booty graze. I say, never accept a text message as booty-call-worthy and at least try to get the guy on the phone for an actual conversation, even if it’s brief, to feel out the situation first. Use your judgment, because you definitely don’t wanna go over to some guy’s place and give him your goods, when he didn’t even care enough to single you out in the first place.

Wow…who would have thought that we’d ever see a step down from the booty call?

And yes, that question can be easily answered in the form of a text.