Sibling Rivalry: do slutty clothes give men the right to stare?

Last night, around 12:30 AM, I had a question. My brother had a desperate need for Wendy’s. We had 15 minutes, and somehow made another sibling rivalry discussion look easy (and English teachers everywhere cringe).

By Jess

(23:56) Me: Can I ask you a question?

(23:56) The Bro: Ya, but hurry. I really wanna go to Wendy’s.

(23:57) Me: well, let’s say a girl walks into Wendy’s…and you’re standing in line behind her, and she’s wearing a short skirt and low shirt. Do you think her clothing gives you the right to stare at her?

(23:57) The Bro: hmm, the right? That’s funny wording

(23:58) Me: maybe “the right to ogle her”

(23:58) The Bro: I mean, technically, it’s my right to look at anything in a public place. Men look at breasts automatically. It isn’t something we do on purpose. We can train ourselves not to. Like for example, when I see MaryAnne, I know she has huge boobs. So I stare at her eyebrows. HARD. Or I look past her.

(00:00) Me: but if a girl’s wearing a cleavage-showing shirt…and she catches you staring…what do you do?

(00:00) The Bro: Most girls don’t say anything. They catch people all the time.

(00:01) Me: What if she gets pissed, and is all “what are you staring at, red beard?”

(00:01) The Bro: I’d just say sorry if she was upset but I wouldn’t feel bad. And I’d do it again. Mainly because it’s genetically coded.

(00:02) Me: what I’m getting at is…when a girl wears something most people consider risqué…do you think she’s asking for people to stare?

(00:02) The Bro: It’s her prerogative. She should ask herself why she’s wearing it. Tube tops certainly don’t look comfortable. But I can’t comment.

(00:01) Me: Should she get mad if people stare?

(00:03) The Bro: Men will always stare at women’s cans. It has nothing to do with patriarchy.

(00:04) Me: So if a girl catches a guy staring at her, and then she gets mad because he’s obviously being a leering moron…is he allowed to tell her she asked for it?

(00:04) The Bro: I would consider that rude. I’d never say anything like that. I don’t think that’s what I’d even think.

(00:04) Me: Right, but we’re going on principal here. We all know you’re a nice gentleman.

(00:05) The Bro: Let me communicate something to you. Women don’t like to think about it but the frequency at which men look at women’s cans and butts – its astronomical

(00:05) Me: really? astronomical? Even if she’s ugly and 60? Do men stare at OLD LADY’S BOOBS?

(00:06) The Bro: They look and go ‘no way’. It needs to be checked. But we digress. In this hypothetical situation, the girl needs to realize that it’s not necessarily her fault he looked, but it’s her fault he can see as much as he did. Men really, really don’t control that. POLITE MEN will look, and snap their necks up, but they still look. It can’t be helped.

(00:07) Me: would you think less of a girl if she dressed semi-skanky?

(00:08) The Bro: it depends on the temperature outside and other mitigating factors, if I know her, etc

(00:08) Me: Say she was reading this really smart paper on politics, standing up in the middle of class in a miniskirt and 4 inch heels…?

(00:09) The Bro: I would think ‘why would she wear that if she wants men to actually hear what she’s saying’?

(00:09) Me: final question: do men ever notice a woman’s shoes?

(00:10) The Bro: Never

(00:10) Me: Never ever?

(00:10) The Bro: or nail polish, or hair, unless they’ve made them ugly on purpose. Example: girl with fake unwashed dreads, pink and green alternating nail polish, and bowling shoes. That’s a red flag. Not about her looks. The fact that she’s a nutcase. Girls could never get their hair done and be fine. Men love messy hair. Unkempt hair represents a girl who can probably keep up with you and doesn’t spend like 200 hours in the bathroom.

(00:11) Me: But say a woman’s wearing these really awesome pair of pumps…do you ever notice them and go, “hmm, nice shoes”?

(00:11) The Bro: No. Never. We don’t care about shoes.

(00:12) Me: what would you think if a girl asked you to go shoe shopping with her?

(00:13) The Bro: I’d say no. If she actually got upset, I’d dump her on the spot. Because that’s like me being like, LET’S GO TO THE ARCADE. HOLD MY QUARTERS. It’s rude. Men don’t care about any of this shit so women need to stop deluding themselves that they do.

(00:16) Me: Kinda like how I feel about hardware stores.

(00:16) The Bro: Exactly. But men don’t think you actually care about hammers

(00:19) Me: Final, ending question:

(00:19) Me: what are you getting at Wendy’s?

(00:19) The Bro: I don’t know yet. I haven’t eaten at Wendy’s in 12 months. I’m probably going to go pretty big. I gotta go before they turn everything off. Peace out.