Tucker Max: Would You Hook Up With This A@#hole?

Tucker-Max“My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole,” or so begins Tucker Max’s website. And he ain’t lying.

Tucker Max is the author of his—fittingly narcissistic—self-titled website, where he has published over 80 very detailed stories about his ridiculous sex soirées. This guy is a true work of art. He published this disclaimer:

“If you are a reasonably intelligent female, it should be obvious that you don’t want to date me. I am shallow, narcissistic, self-absorbed, and insufferably arrogant. I have no desire to commit to anything beyond a cell phone contract. At any given time, I am fucking multiple women, and will not give up that sexual freedom for a partner.”

He writes the most grotesque (but addictively entertaining) stories about banging midgets, trying anal sex and dating (and getting sued by) Miss Vermont. Oh yea, there was also that story about a girl who tattooed “I fucked Tucker Max” on her vajayjay three hours after meeting him.

He is brutally honest about his offensive intentions, and still, girls make insane efforts to hook up with him. What’s the appeal?

I can’t say for sure. But I’d guess it has something to do with his I-don’t-give-a-f@#k attitude, accompanied by his blogosphere celebrity status.

I’ll admit, after a few days of reading TuckerMax—once my initial disgust subsided—I began to find him attractive. He’s an extremely witty writer who gets more famous each day, which has something to do with the attractiveness-factor. But, really, the fact that he nonchalantly gets more ass than any guy I know—and doesn’t even try—is a turn-on.

So, yea, I would totally hook up with Tucker Max. However, the night would not end with a tattoo…

Would you hook up with Tucker Max?

Are you kidding me? Ever hear of something called self-respect?

Absolutely, I want a story written about me!



  1. Joanna says:

    tucker max = sick bitch

    he has most likely contracted every STD known to man and has probably discovered a few new ones.

    I cannot even describe how incredibly unattractive I find a man who is, at any given time, "fucking multiple women."

    The ONLY possible way I could be more repulsed is if a 400lb. leper with pussing sores and boils requested a night of passion with me…with my parents and coworkers watching all the action in the next room.

  2. Sarah says:

    Screw that, man, once I discovered his book last summer, there was no going back. I've passed it around two counties now. He's sexy as hell, and it's absolutely because he's a brilliant, misogynistic bastard. I would, sadly, be a little too freaked out to sleep with him, rubber(s) or not. His next book is called Assholes Finish First, and I'm stoked.

  3. Lauren, Salem Colleg says:

    After reading the post about the midget sex (of course during work, wherein I SNORTED… LOUDLY because I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard) I had to buy the book. I read it in a day. He's a horrible asshole and I love him. I don't want to ever meet him, but I love him.

  4. Tucker Eats Ass says:

    This asshole sure has fooled you dumb broads. He is completely full of shit and was exposed as a liar on the Opie & Anthony show. He even ran away from a fight with a 98-lb loser called "Star Cloudchaser."

  5. Blair-SUNY A says:

    I know this is totally old and this might not be read?

    But I stumbled upon this and I fucking LOVE TMax.

    He's sexy, witty, and lives life exactly how everyone wants to live it but is to much of a loser to actually do so.

    I would be honored to be fucked by Tucker.

  6. Abby says:

    I HAVE fucked Tucker Max, multiple times. He is incredibly intelligent, and not an asshole to the girls he fucks, unless you're an idiot. He is SO fucking sexy, and amazing to talk to.

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