Time 4 Regression: 10 Things You Need for Summer

By Candy

When the weather heats up, I inevitably start craving snow cones, jumping through sprinklers, and sidewalk chalking dirty pictures on the driveway. Am I alone? I don’t think so. When summertime ceased being about relaxing and more about resume padding, something was lost.

Now summer, gasp, is a time for productivity. I’m personally inhaling volumes on Rwanda for my thesis next year and compiling spreadsheets for the government department—which is pretty much the opposite of eating funnel cakes at the fair and prank calling various crushes like I used to. Sacrifices must be made but I’m a fan of a little frivolously now and then…so for all you ladies who still eat fruit loops while watching the Cartoon network on Saturday mornings, here are the top ten things you need to purchase with your hard earned summer moneys.

Top 10 Things You Need for Summer 2007

1.Slip and Slide: What else is slippery when wet but still completely wholesome?

2.Ice Cream Ball: Making homemade ice cream by playing with a ball for 20 minutes, no electricity, with a free list of recipes? Um, yes.

3.Go-Kart: I know you can probably drive, but haven’t you always wanted one of these? Go wreck havoc on quiet neighborhood streets. 10 bonus points if get involved in a low speed chase with the cops.

4.Kite: Mary Poppins was the shit. Enough said.

5.McDonald’s McFlurry Maker: The golden arches may be tatamount to devil horns, but this little contraption is just so damn cute. You can probably fit it in your cubicle if you want to be bold.

6.Hula Hoop: It’s great for the abs, has silver accents (huge this season), and might trick you into thinking you’re in Hawaii instead of slaving away at your less than exotic home.

7.Popsicle Mold: So I know none of this stuff is supposed to be productive, but you can totally make fruit-juice popsicles instead of expanding your middle with big fatty scoops of Ben and Jerrys.

8.Sidewalk Chalk: Express your inner Monet on the drive and impress that cute guy next door with your impressionistic rendition of the fantastically wonderful and amazing locale you’d rather be at than drawing pictures on asphalt. I’m going to do John Krasinski’s bed….

9.Trampoline: This one is sort of a splurge, but if you’re corporate whoring this summer this baby is a must-have. Do wear a frilly sundress and flash the neighbors but don’t do a back-flip off the trampoline and break your foot.

10.Jane Magazine: Something about this publication just screams summer…but I’m not quite sure what it is. Tote the latest issue to work and be soothed.