Friends with Benefits… Is it Really Possible?

It really is the ideal situation for a college-aged guy. Being able to hook up with a friend on a consistent basis, without having to deal with all the annoyances that come with a relationship? Sign me up! Being permitted to hit the bars to look for a new hook-up, but knowing you can always call up your friend if all else fails? That’s solid gold!

Yes, having a friend with benefits really is an amazing luxury in college. But is a true FWB situation really feasible? Not so much.

Far too often, these types of relationships begin very innocently. You know, with a couple of shots of the Friz Vodka, and maybe a beer or two (ok, maybe not so innocently). Before you know it, you and your friend are getting hot and heavy, rolling between the sheets, and individually thinking about whether or not you want to do it again. Of course you want to do it again. You’re getting ass from a guy that you’re friends with. A guy you obviously like and feel comfortable around.

For whatever reason, neither of you want a relationship right now. Perhaps one of you just recently became single and wants to “see what’s out there” (haven’t we all heard that line?). Or maybe you guys both understand that hell, you’re in college. As my mother always said when we were in a mall food court, “why buy a meal when you can fill up on all the free samples?”

But FWB situations can lead to very slippery slopes. Because you guys are friends, and obviously get along well, it’s really only a matter of time before the questions of why you aren’t together start being asked. Even if you aren’t pushing a relationship yourself, you’ll soon start to hear from your friends, “what are you doing? Why aren’t you just with him already?” Or even worse, “how can you hook up with him when he was hooking up with (insert girl you hate’s name here) two nights ago???”

These questions begin to linger, and soon you begin to wonder yourself why you guys aren’t together for real. And then, of course, jealousy begins to rear it’s ugly head. You become more and more annoyed when you catch him sneaking off with another girl. You start getting pissy when he rejects your booty calls. And eventually, your friend with benefits? Goodbye, good luck, good seein’ ya.

Oh, and lest ya’ll think that these attitudes and actions are only reserved for girls, don’t you worry. Guys are capable of being, and often do get, just as jealous if not more so when their FWB starts hooking up with other guys more then them. It’s a recipe for disaster.

When sex is involved, it’s damn near impossible to keep things light and friendly. How do you not grow more attached to a person that you’re sleeping with on a regular basis? Unless you’re a robot, or you’re a totally heartless schmuck like myself, you can’t help it. But once you start liking your FWB, the relationship can only go one of two ways. Forwards towards a real relationship, or backwards into oblivion.

Bottom line? The key to making an FWB situation work, nay, the ONLY way it can work, is if both you and the guy are on exactly the same page as far as what you guys are looking for and what your expectations are for this relationship. Because if one of you likes the other even a little bit more, the whole thing is gonna blow up in your face.