Alright, so when I first heard Angelina Jolie wore a twenty-six dollar dress to the NYC premier of A Mighty Heart I almost thought she was awesome. I was like, no way! I wonder if I have it! Maybe it’s from Forever 21? Man, that Jolie’s the shit.
Then I found out the dress was black crushed velvet, and from a Vintage store called “Wasteland” on Melrose Avenue in LA. Then I found out the cost of the dress was proclaimed by Jolie herself, and that she wore it with crystal-studded, satin peep-toe Christian Louboutin for Loris Azzaro shoes. And then I just got annoyed. Jolie is shit, not the shit.
Every single day we hear about celebrities being ‘just like us’ with pictures featuring Justin Timberlake picking up his dry cleaning or Jennifer Aniston in line at Starbucks. I don’t think this irritates anyone more than me. Celebs are not like us. When I walk out of my house today I won’t be bombarded with swarms of paparazzi, I wasn’t invited to the Grammy’s, I can’t afford Gucci or Armani, and I’m not dating Jake Gyllenhaal (yet.), so don’t tell me that Jessica Simpson and I could be buddies.
If Jolie wants America to think she’s just like any other little lady on the street (Yes, I just said little lady), then there are a few things she might want to change. For one, Angelin-duhhh, black crushed velvet is not a summer fabric. Any average Joe knows that it is strictly winter garb. She might have gotten it from Wasteland but was she waste-d when she decided to wear it in the middle of June? (Gosh, I’m too clever.) Also, if you’re going to wear a twenty-six dollar dress and try and sell yourself off as a Frugal Frannie, then you might not want to pair it with $600 shoes. Just a thought.
And Brad? Well you’re going to have to give him up if you want to convince us that you’re the girl next door, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man that beautiful in person, let alone dated him. Oh and P.S. Eat something. Normal people do that too.
Really, I’ve always admired Angelina’s humanitarianism and worldly adopted child collection, but what’s with the flaunty mcflaunt? We get it Jolie, but my bag’s from Wal-Mart. Twelve bucks! And I’m about to wack you with it.



Jen says:
Fri, 15th Jun 20073:01 pm
“worldly adopted child collection”
LOL. She should start a line! They come complete with $600 outfits outfits and hairgel for their mini fo-hawks!
Annie says:
Sat, 16th Jun 200712:42 am
Oh, You are THE shit. Really funny stuff. LOL
Lilly says:
Sun, 17th Jun 20077:18 am
You are pathetic. Stop ranting you loser. My mom works and she owns Louboutains. Angelina works, she just happens to be an actress, and she owns Louboutains. I say if you can afford it why not buy nice things???
Melissa says:
Thu, 21st Jun 20072:05 am
Actually, the Christian Louboutins ran for over a thousand bucks.
When I saw Jolie in the dress– before I knew it was a $26 disaster– my friends and I were discussing it, saying, man, doesn’t she have enough money to pay someone to dress her? And if she did pay someone to dress her in THAT they should have at least figured out how to not show her bra, and, picked something way cuter and less.. cheap.”
Sad.
fashion god says:
Wed, 27th Jun 200712:20 pm
I read the shoes were $60. Get all the facts douche.
Thatgirl says:
Mon, 9th Jul 20071:22 am
hey idiot!
The WASTELAND is not a “vintage” store as much as its a used clothing store” in los angeles and GASP san francisco where you can buy gently used garb at all prices and believe some of it actually comes from forever 21 you might even find stella m ( do you know who she is, they dont sell her at the walmart sister) for WAAAAY less than retail , who P.S walmart is so 5 years ago sweetie have you ever heard of H AND M???
and uhm hey you twit, the shoes were probably FREE because guess what helloooooo Angelina Jolie is a CELEB who probably gets THEM for FREEEEEEEEEEzzzzzz!
what should she do live in a tree, wear a sack, and go barefoot??? LIKE YOU!
so hush up and go back to walmart or whatever rock you climbed out from under and ps AGAIN, target is the new walmart. at least they dont sell GUNS AND BULLETS…..
peace out and love from san francisco red, as in RED NECK.
MN says:
Tue, 29th Apr 20087:24 pm
I mix really expensive things with cheap and/or vintage things all the time – because I don’t care about the price, I care about how awesome it looks (=makes me look). Other than that I don’t really think that much about Angelina, bad or good. Nor do I think that Brad Pitt is the most beautiful man ever. On the contrary actually, I find his looks quite over-rated.
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