College Candy

Okay, for a while, Tyra Banks‘ schtick was cute. On Top Model, she was bold and she was out there, walking the runway of Fierce Supermodel World. She definitely taught those young, naive models-in-the-making how to work it out and she always knew how to bring out the drama and make me tune in, week after week, marathon after marathon. I was a Tyra fan at one point, because she had just enough of that different personality to catch my attention.

Then, she got her own talk show and decided it was time to push her “I’ll say and do anything for ratings” image. Now, she’s a complete nut bag, she’s all over the television no matter what time of day it is, no matter what channel you turn to, and it’s like – okay. You’re crazy, Tyra. You’re out of your mind. We get it. Now shut up.

They say three strikes and you’re out. Well, here are just three of Tyra’s many recent strikes that have sent her from fierce to f*cking crazy:

1. This clip of Tyra going bat-shit crazy for Vaseline. Hey, I like petroleum jelly just as much as the next girl – it’s great for make-up remover and whatever else your dirty minds can cook up. But do I love it as much as she does? Should anyone love it as much as she does? Ummm, no.

2. Her dress at the Daytime Emmy Awards. WTF is this? Not only is it an ugly dress, but I hate it when you can tell a celebrity is only wearing an outfit for attention, and not because he or she actually likes it. I don’t care who designed this or how expensive it is; this is almost as bad as Brooke Hogan’s denim, assless chaps….almost.

3. Tyra demonstrating on her talk show, in front of her live audience and millions of confused viewers how to pee without sitting on the toilet seat. “You gotta pull your panties forward, and then pee.” Wow. Thanks, Tyra. I had no idea. Is anyone else kind of insulted by her need to actually pop a squat for us?

I think Ms. Banks should take a nice, long vacation, get some rest and come back to us when she’s good, rested and not quite as insane.

Nothing a little Vaseline can’t cure, right?!?