Jennifer Aniston OD’s on Smart Water

Day after day, we see paparazzi shots of celebrities walking their dogs or heading into dance rehearsal. It’s been engrained in our minds, for some twisted reason, to care…whether it be what they’re wearing, who they’re with, or maybe they’re pregnant!?!?!

In these snapshots, the paparazzi is unintentionally creating free publicity for the brands these celebrities are wearing, the shopping bags they’re toting, or the food or drink they’re carrying. Starbucks has been basking in the glory of this free publicity for years now, so much so in fact, that I’m starting to think Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have actually super-glued Starbucks venti cups to their bony well-manicured hands.

It would only take someone with an amazing head of hair…cue my reference to Jennifer Aniston, to think of actually embracing and taking advantage of the paparazzi hordes that harass her on a daily basis. And she’s doing just that. Yup, our very own beloved Rachel Greene has teamed up with SmartWater and agreed to carry their water bottle around Hollywood, allowing the tabloids to print pictures of her with it. SmartWater, or smart girl?

This is where I turn bitter and cynical. Really, Jen? Was the one million dollar paycheck per episode of Friends not enough? In 2002 she was Justine, a discount retail store clerk in “The Good Girl”…Jennifer, have you ever been to Wal-Mart? Do you know what that is? It’s bad enough that Angelina’s scuffing her $600 stilettos while running around in a 26 dollar mess… I mean dress, declaring herself a bargain-shopper, but now this? Is it just me or does Brad Pitt’s little black book have an unintelligence quota? More importantly, could the wealth of this country be any more in the wrong hands?

Listen, Aniston. How about you stop strutting around town cheesing and posing with that full bottle of water and instead GIVE it to that dehydrated malnourished child in Somalia. Someone take a picture of THAT.

Now I love Friends, and a couple of movies this chick has been in. I’d even consider forgiveness if she wouldn’t hold the water bottle out and so upright in every paparazzi shot so far, I mean have a little dignity lady, don’t make it so obvious! But first the nose job (At least the old Jennifer had character.) and now this SmartWater fiasco. You’re on thin ice Jen. Three strikes and you’re out.