No, We Can’t Go Out! You’re Like… My Uncle.

So my dad has a really tight knit group of friends. Guys, gals, married, single, old, young, he’s got ‘em all. It’s actually kind of sweet, and it gives me hope for the longevity of my friendships. Anyway, they’ve all known each other and been BFFs since college, so naturally they’ve all been a part of my life. Cookouts, football games, Dungeons and Dragons tournaments… Oh yeah. They’re all huge, colossal nerds; just like my dad. But you know what? I was too, and it’s totally cool. I’m not ashamed of my nerdy past.

But whatever, those days are gone (I swear) and I digress. My point is that after you hit a certain age and you haven’t grown out of it, you’ll always be a huge nerd. (And I don’t mean me.) So why this is now my problem? Well in the past two years since I became legal, my dad’s sadly overweight, still-single at 50 computer nerd friends have reared their ugly heads and have started to use what seems like the same lame pick-up attempts their younger counterparts try on me all the time.

Suddenly I’m getting IMs from men I once thought of as weird but kind uncles (one of them actually IS step-mother’s brother), and it’s not, “hey kiddo, how’s school? Keep up the great work!” No, instead, this is the kind of message I can expect:

Dad’s Friend: So I want to take you out to dinner sometime so we can catch up!

Me: Oh I’m sorry, but I’m staying with my mom this summer so I’m not in town!

Me: But hey, why don’t you take my dad out!

Me: Even though I know he’s not as cool as me … lol

Dad’s Friend: Yeah, or as nice to look at .

AH! If that’s not enough he then sends me a FAR away picture of himself after asking for one of me. Like I don’t know what his old, ugly ass looks like. Still, this occasion wasn’t as precious as this one with my step-uncle:

Uncle: I’d love to come up sometime and visit you in the city.

Me: Yeah, sure Uncle D! I’d love to see Ali and Spencer! (My kid step-cousins)

Uncle: Yeah well I could come up another time with them too.

Uncle: And just call me Dave. I’m not really your uncle you know. : )

So what’s the deal? Have my boobs blocked the memory of me with food down the front of my princess dress as I screamed the ABC’s as loud as possible in the middle of their conversations? Or am I just projecting a general uneasiness with the way older adult men at bars treat me onto my dad’s old friends who may very well just be trying to treat me like an adult? Even so I feel like there’s a line, when it comes to your best friend’s daughter, between former Dungeon Master and a date that they’re just not feeling. So how does one deal? I’m just putting up a permanent away message and opting for just a pat on the back instead of a hug at family functions.