College Candy

It seems like yesterday that all of us were forced (ok, willingly obliged) to sit through the two hour weekly spectacle of American Idol. I can still hear Simon’s snarky comments, Paula’s drunken ramblings, and Randy’s so-white-how-can-you-be-black-“dawgs” in the back of my mind.

Sanjaya seems to have thankfully faded into pop culture history, and we’re yet to see if the American Idol curse will hit Jordin, or skip over her in a Carrie Underwood manor.

Seriously, didn’t it just end? So why, oh why are there already audition dates for the upcoming season? Is it so brave people don’t have to sit through horrible weather as they have in the past? Is it so Fox and the producers of AI can milk advertisers for even more money by making the show longer? Is it because we just can’t get enough?

Auditions begin on July 30th in San Diego, and snake their way across the country to finish up in Philadelphia on August 27th.

Cities hit in between—Dallas, Omaha, Atlanta, Charleston and Miami. My bet for the winner next year? Some cute farm girl from Omaha who will blow everyone away. I don’t know, just seems like an underdog story ready to be blown out of proportion.

I’ve always fancied myself quite a singer. I have my microphone shaped sponge in my shower (a gift from a friend, I swear), and I rock out to Think Before He Cheats and other power ballads. People haven’t run away when I sing at an occasional open mic.

But there is not a snowballs chance in hell that I—even if I had pipes like Whitney Houston and knew I was going to make it—would ever consider standing online with the tens of thousands of other people who are bound to show up. Never. And if it started to rain? I’d be out of there.

I just don’t have that kind of devotion.

But big up to those who do,– especially you crazies out there who make the really bad audition shows at the beginning. I hope you get one of those stupid awards they gave out at the finale.

My feeling is that American Idol is getting a little old. This season did not measure up to expectations in my book, and it was almost painful to sit through by the end of the season. I figure go out on top before you jump the shark. Can you jump the shark in a reality TV contest? Anyway… Bottom line—get out before we hate you.