Bill O’Reilly Schooled by a 16 Year Old.

As if it’s not hard enough to act nonchalant when a big beefy bouncer is inspecting your fakey out front of a bar, *cue bored yawn and a glance at your watch* (hopefully he doesn’t notice that the hologram’s actually the word VOID in comic sans), but how many times have you been ignored by a sales clerk, (Pretty Woman reminiscent) because you look too young to afford anything. Or even worse, on how many accounts have you been followed around a store because the workers suspect that, since you undoubtedly can’t afford anything, you’ll probably just steal it.

By CC Staff

What about being taken seriously at a job interview? Even with your nicest black pumps and pencil lined skirt, some employers just seem to breeze through the process as though you’re undeniably a complete waste of their time. Sure, we’re always hearing about the infamous -isms: racism, sexism, classism, feminism (girl powa!) but rarely do we address ageism, a growing epidemic that affects you, me, and college girls everywhere.

Last week, high school student Jesse Lange (think a sixteen-year-old mix between Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, underage perfection to be exact) decided to do something about it. Appearing on Bill O’Reilly’s (aka I-have-a-stick-up-my-butt-mcgee’s) The O’Reilly Factor, Lange addressed the widespread criticism of Boulder High School’s sex education program after it had received much condemnation (O’Reilly’s included) for a ‘risque’ assembly that was held before the student body. The assembly was composed of four speakers who, according to O’Reilly, promoted drug use and declared condoms ‘unnecessary’.

Riiiiight. In other words, O’Dummy lazily skimmed the transcripts of the assembly and drew false assumptions from a couple remarks made, which becomes ever-so-obvious when Lange opens his mouth.

O’Reilly argues with the kid like he’d rather be getting a root canal. He casts him off as though having an opposing side in a debate is almost as useless as his Rogaine (which darn it, just doesn’t seem to be working!) This is until he gets schooled when Lange proves O’Reilly’s poorly-researched claims as one-hundo percent erroneous. This is the part where you can practically see O’Reilly pee his pants a little.

He begins shooting off about nothing relevant in an obvious desperate determination to tune out Lange’s intelligent, well-versed rebuttal. The best part is that Lange stays entirely composed as this greasy old fart proceeds to call him a pinhead, (I kid you not.) The whole debacle becomes ever more entertaining on account of the little boy on O’Reilly’s side who has nothing substantial to say besides, “My football coach says I’m right!”

Jesse Lange is just what this country needs to see right now, a young intelligent and assertive person who isn’t even old enough to vote yet. All we hear about is ‘kids today’ with their drugs and their probation, bad grades and incessant partying. If all this is so, then tell me why Lange, two years shy of legal, can turn this bald undeservedly-famous man to mush in a matter of seconds, right on your very own television screen. All I know is I sure as hell never had a boy that cute in my driver’s ed classes. (Seriously, watch the clip!)