Paris Hilton has recently directed her career in a new direction, exploring the field of neural surgery. …Kidding! Because it’s actually worse.
Nickelodeon sweetheart (has-been? has-she-ever-been?) Amanda ‘A is for awkward’ Bynes will be introducing her new clothing line, Dear, in Steve & Barry’s stores on August 16th. Police are still in the process of investigating which hallucinogens Steve and/or Barry were on when the line was approved.
If you were one of the innocent channel surfers who fell to witness Bynes’ tragic sitcom flop on her show with Jennie Garth and that guy from Saturday morning TV circa 1998, I’m sure you are shaking your head in utter confusion to this painful news.
If you, in even more dreadful circumstances, were unjustly subjected to that She’s the Man soccer flick where not even Channing Tatum’s fantastically sculpted abs could pardon a pre-pubescent male-disguised Bynes who seemed misled to believe that apparently speaking under the guise of a muddled Southern accent would make her seem more manly, then you will undoubtedly be unable to fathom my next five words: her clothing line is worse. Read More »
Imagine combining the joys of Aladdin’s ‘Whole New World’ with the hedonism of Huxley’s ‘Brave New World‘, and you’ll be feeling pretty good about your post-college-in-my-own-apartment-sweet-life.
Well, not so fast: before you start buying cool things like brand new wine glasses and Franzia, follow these basic financial rules:
Make a Budget
First of all, if you own your own jet or flying car, stop reading this column immediately and buy me something awesome (like a flying car). If you are, however, with the rest of us, you might want to consider making a budget: a list of all planned expenses and revenues. First, put a set amount of your salary into a savings account (the ‘rainy day’ fund) that’s working towards saving six months of salary in case of emergencies or other mishaps. After you’ve set aside that amount, you can then allocate the rest of your total net income in a variety of ways. Remember, these are guidelines, not rules; the point is to make a plan and stick to it! Read More »
I’m not a big drinker, but I love me a well-made cocktail.
Why, just the other weekend I ordered a $12 concoction that sounded wonderful at a swanky outdoor bar (the drink did not, in fact, taste wonderful, but you better believe I sipped that sucker dry — $12 cocktails are always to be finished, no matter what).
Because I’d rather go with quality rather than quantity, I was super psyched to read this little article in the New York Times about organic cocktails.
No more Red Bull and bottom shelf vodka here, these new fruit and vegetable fueled drinks are popping up in bars all over the United States.
With recipes “like freshly juiced organic carrots, Granny Smith apple juice, elderflower liqueur and vodka”, the new “organic” cocktail trend allows health conscious connoisseurs feel better about topping off that third drink.
And while nothing is going to make sipping an alcoholic beverage healthier than eating an apple, researchers at the United States Department of Agriculture recently reported, “adding alcohol to strawberries and blackberries increased their antioxidant capacity”. Read More »
It’s national orgasm week in England, and people are pretty excited about it (as you can imagine).So excited are they, that the rag mag, The Sun, has just published an article on how to ramp up that girlish libido.
We’re all pretty familiar with the difficulties of the female orgasm (apparently 12% of women in the UK haven’t had the big O even once. Not once!). It can sometimes be an illusive little thing, with many of us just giving up and pretending it happened or kidding ourselves that it’s nowhere to be found in our biological make-up. Read More »
In another blow against the tobacco industry, Disney has recently decided to eliminate all depictions of smoking within their films. They also vowed to discourage smoking within films aimed toward adult audiences through Touchstone Pictures and Miramax.
Famous villains such as Cruella DeVille of 101 Dalmatians had previously used smoking to enhance their infamous personas within Disney movies. Who could forget those long, thin cigarettes that Cruella puffed away at throughout the classic film? The rings of smoke swirling around her added a mysterious, evil air to her character. Read More »
In an interview with Glamour Magazine (snippets here), Ms. Star Jones (formerly of The View) finally admits to getting Gastric Bypass Surgery to aid in her 160 pound weight loss back in 2003.
And in other blatantly obvious news, Lindsay Lohan has a drug problem and I have to beat men off with a stick.
Since when do we care about Star Jones?
She hasn’t been on The View in years, and even when she was she was most definitely hated. Okay, maybe not hated…but surely the butt of many a joke. And it was well-deserved!
The woman sold out her own wedding for goodness sakes! Tacky, Star…just tacky.
When is she going to admit her career is over? Or that she looks better with a few extra pounds? Or that she’s a selfish money-hungry pseudo-celebrity?
Living in New York City, I get to see all the hipsters come out to play. Lucky me!
I’m not a hipster myself, but I know how to spot them. I know about the tight pants, the big glasses, The Misshapes, etc. But I had NO idea it is now cool, trendy and well….hip, to look like this.
WTF is this? Is this guy for real? Are those teal shorts for real? Is that netted, mesh tank top, for real? ARE THOSE GLASSES FOR REAL?
Apparently, they are and so is he. And so are a lot of other hep cats living in Brooklyn and will be soon scattered throughout the entire country, I’m sure. And, thus is the beginning of “Fashion Futurism,” a trend that mixes bright and ballsy ’80′s fashion with a Jetsons type vibe.
Kanye West, who has helped begin the recent fad, has been sporting a very ugly yet interesting pair of “sunglasses” (although they don’t do much for the sun without actual shades) in his new video. Designer Alain Mikli is gonna have a lot more business now, which is good for him, but bad for me, because this means I’ll have to see these things planted on faces up close and in person. Read More »
The Twisted Pictures director is beginning a new movie called Repo! The Genetic Opera, (here’s where things start to sound unreal) a “musical thriller” where a “villainous organ-transplant magnate” deals with a “mysterious plague that threatens the survival of the human race”.
So, in this equation, we have: the director of Saw, “musical thriller”, an evil organ transplant tycoon, a futuristic society dying from a plague, and Paris Hilton.
…’Tis the stuff nightmares and gigantic flops are made of, lovelies.
With shows like The Bachelor and MTV’s Next long played out, it’s no wonder that many of us have lost our interest in reality TV shows based on finding love.
By now, it’s become more than blatantly obvious that many of the shows are scripted with characters who all fit the same few personality descriptions. The process of watching these bimbos battle it out for some hairy neandrathal has become tired and frankly, boring.
So, why have I seen every episode of VH1′s new Bachelor-esque reality TV show Rock of Love? I’ve been trying to answer this question myself. I could care less about the star of the show, Bret Michaels, the lead singer of the 80′s hair band Poison.
He’s not particularly attractive, his band is forgettable, and he seems kind of lame for a rock star. The show seems to depict him as boring- he has no defining characteristics. He’s nice enough to the girls he’s “dating”, but doesn’t show any signs that he may be able to handle an actual relationship.
Every time he appears on the show, he’s either participating in show-sponsered dates, or walking around with a beer in his hand and an uninspired look on his face. Read More »
Paris Hilton has recently directed her career in a new direction, exploring the field of neural surgery. …Kidding! Because it’s actually worse.
Imagine combining the joys of Aladdin’s 
I’m not a big drinker, but I love me a well-made cocktail.
In an interview with Glamour Magazine (snippets 
Living in New York City, I get to see all the 
Now, you’re going to read the next paragraph and think it’s a joke, but I swear to you it’s not.
With shows like The Bachelor and MTV’s Next long played out, it’s no wonder that many of us have lost our interest in reality TV shows based on finding love.
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