Shoot Some Sex Up Your Nose

Strawberries and oysters are supposedly great aphrodisiacs, although they’ve never worked in that way for me personally. Well now, there’s a new aphrodisiac on the market that isn’t so much a food, but rather…a nose spray?

PT-141 promises to turn up a woman’s libido, by causing a “stirring in the loins” within 15 minutes of nasal contact. Who says “loins” anymore other than authors of romance novels? (And, yes, there’s really a romance novel out there called “Kanagroo Gangbang”)

Anyway, enough about kangaroo gangbangs. PT-141 (look at its official website!!! It is a romance novel) is an “odourless and colourless synthetic chemical that you inhale deeply through a small, white plastic inhaler. The compound, produced by Palatin Technologies and currently undergoing regulatory assessment, is a melanocortin-based therapy that seems to work directly on the brain rather than simply stimulating the loins as is the case with Viagra.”

While it’s not yet officially on the market, this brain-stimulating sex spray is well on its way to drug stores near you.

I am skeptical about this stuff, because to me, it sounds like something out of that movie from 1992 called Love Potion No. 9, which was not believable in any sense of the word. Plus, the scientific name for PT-141 is “bremelanotide” – not quite as harmless-sounding as “strawberries.” I just really don’t like the thought of shooting all sorts of crazy chemicals up your nostrils that supposedly make you wanna jump in the sack.

That’s what tequila is for – and it does its job quite nicely, thank you very much.