Has Hooking-up Replaced Dating?
These girls say hooking-up is the new dating.
Do you agree?
I don’t. I think hooking-up is the new way to stop feeling lonely on a Saturday night. The new way for collegiate / twenty-something aged girls to feel powerful and anti-emotional (since we’re constantly being told we overreact about everything). A new symptom of a sexually driven media culture, perhaps. But I don’t think it’s the new dating.
How little faith do we have in relationships these days if we think hooking-up is the only way to meet people? It’s one of the only ways to have an awkward sexual experience, but it’s certainly not the only way to meet a fantastic guy.
In fact, I think it’s a horrible way to meet a fantastic guy. The more I like someone, the less inclined I am to take a running leap into bed. It sounds a little backwards, but the more I want to be with someone, the longer I’ll hold out, because by then it’s about a connection, an experience, and not just gratification.
I mean, maybe I’ve got your grandma’s morals. Maybe I’m stuck in some backward, retro, pearls-and-bouffant-hairdo world. But honestly, aren’t we selling ourselves short when we liken hooking-up to dating? Aren’t we cheapening ourselves?
Hooking-up never makes me feel very classy, and it certainly doesn’t provide the satisfaction of a great date in the back of a small bar with someone I think is awesome. The memory of a great date can get me through long hours on the job, but the memory of a hook-up usually makes me hunch over my desk and make myself promise I’ll never do it again (especially with someone who thinks skull rings are an appropriate male accessory).
There’s nothing ethically wrong with hooking-up. Honestly, I’d be the biggest hypocrite in the world if I claimed it so, but I will say it’s decidedly low brow (of course, so is Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, but I watched that shit to the better end). Let’s just end this by saying that if I were to meet the man of my dreams, I take dating over hooking-up with him any day.
What do you think, lovelies? Hooking-up or dating?