College Candy

If you’ve accidentally caught Paula Abdul’s new Bravo reality show Hey Paula, you know what a boring snoozefest it truly is. If you’ve spared yourself the misery, I can break the episodes down in one sentence: Paula acts weird, cries about people not understanding her, bitches about being tired, and claims she’s an amazing person.

Repeat that sentence fifty times and you’ve got yourself a series.

These days, if you’re a semi-famous celebrity, you’ve got a reality show. Careful editing and funny camera work makes you seem normal and almost endearing in front of a national audience, but as soon as the crews go home, you go back to being an almost nobody who has a big problem with something (which usually gets worse after a quick reboot of fame).

Think about all the celebrities who have okayed cameras to invade their lives: Jessica and Nick, Britney and Kevin, Carmen and Dave, Whitney and Bobby, Anna Nicole, Ashlee Simpson, Ozzy Ozbourne, Danny Bonaduce, and Tom Sizemore, and tell me that these people are healthy and satisfied. All four marriages disintegrated soon after their last episodes aired, and Anna Nicole died shortly after her series made a mockery of her entire life.

There’s always an audience for this short of thing…but there’s also an audience for snuff films. Just because someone will watch it doesn’t mean it’s worth airing.

B and C list celebs who are desperate for fame will seemingly do anything to scramble their way to the top. If there’s a paycheck and make-up artist involved, they’ll willingly agree to open up their lives for international scrutiny.

The only question is, should we let them do it?