One More Reason Boys Are Dumb

July 11, 2007 - 1:50 pm By CC Staff

couple on couch I’m all for women’s rights, a feminist, no doubt. Recently, I even got into a heated (drunken) debate with a guy friend when he tried to claim that girls can’t drive. After all, how many accidents had he gotten into as opposed to my one measly fender bender? I refused to let him get away with such a pompous statement.

I have a point.

Somewhere along the road, as intelligent ladies demanded equal rights to our male counterparts, (Which by the way we still don’t have. 77 cents to a fella’s dollar, ladies!) men consequently decided that equal rights meant the abolishment of chivalry. Either that, or they just got lazy. (Ahem, the latter. In my opinion.)

What makes matters so atrocious is not even the actual death of chivalry, but the fact that girls everywhere have accepted it, and don’t expect much anymore.

Nowadays, wined and dined makes less sense than that damn word that lost you the spelling bee in fifth grade. (Who knew pneumonia had a P?) Girls’ expectations have become so minimal that if a guy opens the door for you he’s a Casanova, if he pays for dinner he’s practically Romeo, and if he calls you again within three days, well it must be too good to be true.

Aside from my normal summer tactics (mortifying summer internships and a whole lot of Oprah), I recently returned from a fabulous week of vacation in London, England. Besides, of course, seeing all the sights (Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, pictures in bright red telephone booths, being embarrassingly touristy…) my lovely sister and I made it a mission to enjoy a pub crawl or two, and do a little British boy hunting. (Can you blame us? That accent.) Well ladies, I have news for you all. CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD.

Well no, it is, but only in America! I hate to generalize and nationalize, but yeah. American boys have no game.

These English boys were attentive, they asked questions, they wanted to get to know us, they didn’t seem to expect anything except a phone number or business card so they could see us again. One night stands seemed not an option for these guys. And I’m not even talking about a specific group of friends. I can firmly state that my sister and I did an adequate amount of field work to come to this conclusion (hehe). British boys were aggressive but in the RIGHT way, their pick-up lines were as innocent as ‘Have you seen the latest stats on Wimbledon?’ and they were painfully polite. A group of guys even thanked us for riding the elevator with them. What???

It’s like that Sex & the City episode where Carrie’s overwhelmed by the Russian’s decadent romanticism. He writes her songs, he takes her to the opera, he makes her pancakes. When she shares this with her friends, cynical Miranda points out that the extent of romance in New York City goes as far as a guy handing off his seat on the subway. It’s so true. And there’s a lot to blame for it. The text messaging craze has caused guys to become less communicative and more distant, seeing as a text instead of calling or stopping by gets their job done. Then there’s the most troublesome aspect, the downfall of dates. Especially in a college setting it’s so much easier and casual for a guy to wait until he can hang out with his interest in a group (and usually intoxicated) setting. The point is, he still gets the poo-na-na in the end, does he not?

Forgive me for being so pessimistic, there are of course still those grand gestures every now and then that we can ooh and ah over, and I’m not saying past boyfriends haven’t done romantic things for me every now and then. After all I was asked to prom by a guy in a gorilla suit who sent me on a scavenger around town gathering red roses and bananas. (I wonder where he got the inspiration?) All I’m saying is yeah, girls want to be treated as equals. We don’t need to be protected or babied and we certainly don’t need a power and control imbalance, but at the same time, we wouldn’t mind a call now and then. Or having conversations that extend further than ‘What do you want to drink?’ Maybe some flowers, just because. Or, I don’t know, an actual date? One-on-one dinner together in the campus dining commons doesn’t count, but it’s a start. For a lot of girls, date standards have reached: anything sober.

If only guys knew how easy it really would be to get in our pants.

Alice says:
Wed, 11th Jul 20073:04 pm

I live in England, and trust me – those sweet, innocent English boys you think you’ve met are only so nice because they’re on guest turf, and because American girls are sexy and exotic. (Remember Bridget Jones’s Diary: “Well you see the thing with Laura and me… She being American, someone with a bit of confidence…”)

Back home, they still just get drunk and grab your ass at the pub, expecting you to squeal in delight. As far as nationality goes, my money is on Australians (or maybe I’ve just seen one too many episodes of House).

But following on from all this, I lament the days when men not only opened doors, but actually *pursued* their objects of desire.

jake says:
Wed, 11th Jul 20073:48 pm

You began your little tirade by deriding a young man for making a generalization according to sex-based criteria (women can’t drive). Then you proceeded to base your entire “article” on a similar generalization, even admitting “I hate to generalize, but yeah”. This whole thing wreaks of hypocricy, that and the pennings of a high-maitenance woman who wants men to do everything for her, while at the same time demanding a certain level of “respect”. I use quotes here because often times this “chivalry” you speak of is the same type of activity that is blasted by women as “demeaning” and “disrespectful”. “I don’t need a man to open the door for me, I’m an independant woman!”. Pick one!

In closing, I would recommend not spending your opening lines to speak out against generalizations, stereotypes, and prejudice, when you entire article is predicated on such ignorance. It really makes you look unintelligent. Then again, after reading most of the material on this website, that is probably unavoidable.

Solmaaz - UMASS says:
Wed, 11th Jul 20074:00 pm

ladies, i found a second reason why boys are dumb:

jake.

sarah says:
Thu, 21st Feb 20084:03 am

I’m an Aussie, and In response to Alice’s comment, no, Aussie guys are not like that(unfortunately). They’re just as perverted and lazy as anywhere else. Well, some of them..

Max says:
Mon, 5th May 20086:09 am

I think that in all relationships you have to give to get. If you set upon a set of expectations towards someone without you yourself living up to their’s, then you will almost always be disappointed. Perhaps referring to sex as, “po na na” is why your date doesn’t feel like opening the door for you. You must not point fingers and make generalizations. What Jake said is perfectly valid and I tend to feel the same way about your writing. Women’s lib. was a tool created for the sole purpose of breaking apart the family unit and making it so that the women’s role of providing their child with a moral and sound upbringing was transfered to the institutional setting of the modern corrupt classroom.

Pat says:
Fri, 24th Jul 20095:35 pm

From reading the article any person may come to the conclusion that women don’t actually know what they want but they would be wrong. What women want is “it all” or a perfect guy who does the perfect thing at the perfect time. Its natural for a human to have something nice and to want more of it/something better. People are far from perfect, especially absent minded men. There is no win all answer for dating a guy from any country because all men are different. The best advice I can give for women reading this article is to make up your standards for a guy as your relationship develops and to express what you like and don’t like directly to the guy by telling him. Most men are very bad at picking up social cues and you need to tell them exactly what you want from them. Whether or not you get what you want from the relationship will give you a more accurate interpretation of what you should expect from your guy than the above article.

Nautilus says:
Sat, 25th Jul 20091:01 am

Jake is definitely right on the money there.

Meira says:
Sun, 15th Nov 20091:57 pm

Gentlemen,

Grow up. Before, you gave us manners, but no money. Now, you’ve given us money(well, almost) but no manners. When we ask for both, you act like the sky is crashing down.

Your reasoning? Because “Women wanted to be treated equally, so now we’re going to treat you as one of the guys.”

Thats ridiculous. Do women care about your day? Yes. Do women ask you questions? Yes. DO women make you breakfast(on occasion) yes.

We aren’t asking for the impossible, we’re asking for what we have been giving you the whole time.

I open the door for people all the time- to be NICE. Do the same. Not just for women, for everyone.