Good Deal, Bad Etiquette

I can honestly say that I find nothing better in life than a manicure/pedicure combo for the beautiful price of $25. Those Korean / Vietnamese women and men really know what they’re doing! Warm towels, massages, my favorite Essie colors (Wicked for the toes and Waltz for the fingers, obviously!) and Maury Povich playing the background; it is simply heaven.

By Lauren

Unfortunately, my last trip to my favorite neighborhood nail shop –the difference between it and the other 20 salons on my street I could not tell you, besides the fact that it is closest to the Dunkin Donuts where I get my morning brew – left me with less than a happy ending. (I am not speaking of that kind of happy ending.)

I have no problem with the fact that most of the people who work at this particular nail shop have a difficult time with English. I have been getting my nails done at shops like this for years, so it really comes as no surprise. But, until this particular day, I never realized just how much there is to learn about communicating in English beyond just verb conjugation.

Like tact, for example.

I mean, I always thought everyone on this earth understood that you never, under any circumstances, ask a woman when she is due unless you are ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE she is pregnant. Not if she is wearing a shirt (that happens to be in style right now) that is tight under the boobs and sorta flairs out. I mean, I know those shirts aren’t the most flattering things in the world, but come on! I don’t look like I’m about to go into labor. Sidenote: I have since stopped wearing said shirt and have decided to wake up 10 minutes earlier every day to do an extra set of crunches.

And as if I hadn’t been thoroughly insulted enough for one day (two separate nail technicians did this, mind you), I decided to hop over to the waxing room and get a little eyebrow arching done. You know, to make myself feel better. Big mistake. While applying hot wax to my face, the girl looks at me and says, “You want lip too? It looks very hairy. Very bad.”

WHAT?! Never in my life have I ever had an upper lip problem. In fact, I pride myself on the fact that I have quite a nice (HAIR FREE) upper lip. Honestly, I went there for a day of pampering and beauty, not to be verbally assaulted. Had I wanted someone to call me fat and hairy, I could have called my brothers. At least then it would have been free!