Just One of the Guys…Usually

By Lauren

Being that I tend to hang out with boys more often than girls lately (and not “sexy time” boys… more like “fart and make her laugh” boys), I am often looked to for the female perspective. Whether it be giving my approval of the women they hit on in bars or giving advice on a super romantic anniversary date, my role in life has become “Speaker of All Women.”

Yesterday, as I sat chatting with said boys, one began telling me a story and asking for advice. He has been dating a girl for 2 years now. He loves everything about her – her intelligence, her sense of humor, her body. That is, until recently, as she has packed on a few pounds since graduation.

Apparently, he is all about fitness – training for a marathon, for example – and finds himself less attracted to her than he used to be. He knows he can’t say anything (because what guy doesn’t know that) but he also knows that he wants to scream when he goes to the movie with her and she chows down on a medium popcorn. And regular Coke! (Note: He added the emphasis on regular. Not me.)

He ends his story.

All the guys in the room sympathize with his horrible situation.

Then everyone in the room looks to me for an answer.

Silence.

Is he serious? He wants me to give him a way to tell his girlfriend of two years that she needs to lose weight or he won’t sleep with her anymore? WHAT? A few pounds and the relationship is over? I get that sexual attraction is important in a relationship, but there has to be a line somewhere. What about her sense of humor? Her intelligence?

Based on my reaction – filled with screams/swear words/names called – I don’t think this boy will be asking my opinion anymore. I do think, however, that he now knows the reaction he would get by asking his girlfriend to drop the Chalupa and head to the gym.

So I guess it helped, right?