Facebook and the Death of Etiquette
Facebook has killed etiquette.Remember when you used to get phone calls on your birthday, handwritten invitations to housewarmings, and thank-you cards in the mail? Me neither.
We’re a generation raised on internet communication, and I’m not sure that we’re better off. I started thinking about this a few weeks ago after sending invites to my 21st birthday via Facebook.
I’m not much of a birthday celebrator, so the last time that I actually made a big shin-ding out of it was years ago—back before the majority of my friends had emails and screen names, when I called each of them from my phone home and they jotted down the event specifics on a big Spice Girls or kitten calendar. You would get a phone call from each guest by a specified date, letting you know if they were coming so that you knew how many goody-bags full of Jacks, Silly Putty, and friendship bracelets to buy.
Looking at my Facebook invite full of RSVPs—yes, which in Facebook-talk means maybe, maybe aka no, and no aka HELL no,—I couldn’t help but yearn for those childhood days of decorum and polite, thoughtful exchanges. Those days when you know everyone at your birthday party, playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey, really wanted to be there—not that they just had nothing better to do.
This is not to say I’m anti-Facebook. It’s definitely make things easier, in a way. You can throw together a poker game or impromptu party last-minute. You can keep in touch with camp friends from years ago, find that girl in your 400-person Psych lecture, or ask out that stranger you met at the bar without the dread of a face-to-face rejection.
But as much as Facebook allows us to remain more connected, are we also getting more impersonal? Instead of making phone calls, we make wall posts. Instead of hugs, we have pokes. Instead of coming over to catch up, we message each other saying “we have to catch up soon!”
Facebook was originally started as a way for friends to connect—but are we using it for just the opposite?
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Kari says:
Sun, 22nd Jul 20075:10 pm
I couldnt agree more. The internet has made us more distant instead of bringing us closer. The only people it has brought closer are people who are oceans away, or people who we never really care to speak with in person.
Konstantin says:
Fri, 27th Jul 20072:38 pm
Agreed.
But then again it's how you use it too.
If you put together a party for example and actually confirm with people in person or on the phone as well — its really useful to keep track of how many people will show up, their +1's and so on.