“You ate the food. You drank the wine. Pay the bill.”

I’m a sucker for acts of chivalry, however contrived they may be. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, offering his jacket on a cold evening, and yes, paying for dinner—it all makes me swoon.

Though I never agree on first date to a place where I can’t afford to pay my own way, I do firmly believe that whoever does the asking out should pay. Being the introvert that I am, this translates into my date always paying. But of course, not wanting to seem unappreciative, I always end up doing what my friends and I now refer to as “the fake purse-reach.”

As soon as the bill lands on the table, I reach into my purse and dig for my wallet, which is usually lying in a prominent location that requires no digging to reach. At this point, my date will usually offer an ardent “No, no, I’ve got it.” You know how it goes, ladies. I offer a “oh, no, please, let me at least pay my share,” while opening my wallet and casually taking out bills. My date protests once again, and I wrinkle my brow and say “Are you sure? Thank you so much!”

This is how it works every time, and I’ve only actually been taken up on my offer to pay once, on a first, and last date. I’ve even gone so far as not even having money in my wallet once when offering to pay. (I know, I’m awful).

Of course, once I’m actually dating someone seriously or even casually, I like to either pay my share or treat him about half the time—but going Dutch on a first date if he was the one to ask you out? Completely tacky in my opinion.

Well, not according to some people. Meet Darren. After going on a date with a woman from Jdate.com and then not hearing from her, he emailed her to request that she pay him $50 for her share of dinner. Seriously.

And it doesn’t end there. Darren REALLY wants that $50. Enough to continue emailing her, leaving her voicemails, threatening to issue her a summons, and even calling up the restaurant they went to and telling them that he will only be paying half the bill, and that they should contact her for the rest.

He even says this little gem: “You ate the food. You drank the wine. Pay the bill.”

And I thought I had bad online dates.

Unfortunately for Darren, the emails and voicemails have been making their way around numerous blogs for our entertainment. Check them out here and enjoy!