MMMM, The Orgasmic Diet

The female orgasm is a complex, complicated, mysterious wonder. This we all know, and know all too well.

By Candy

But sometimes the idea of taking chemically-induced substances to bring these babies out (orgasms, not actual babies) just doesn’t sit well. And with the new trend in going organic and au-natural, why not try out a diet plan that promises to get you off in a better and faster way?

The New York Daily News reports the Orgasmic Diet by Marrena Lindberg.

Ok, so the diet wants you to eat dark chocolate every day, take LOTS of fish oil supplements (which increases blood flow) and cut down on carbs. Not bad. You’ll probably lose weight while boosting your libido. But, you have to give up coffee. Yikes.

The NY Daily News journalist who wrote the article was bold enough to try the diet out and give her own account first hand. She wrote:

“…keen to discover the New and Improved Libidinous Me, I stuck to the rest of the diet as best I could for three weeks. With growing excitement I waited for the wakeup call to my senses, the hormonal reveille.

Any minute now the air would crackle with sexual heat, like a fuse burning toward a bomb. I was going to discover in myself a passion so fiery that not even that daredevil oil-well capper Red Adair could quench it.

When that Big O came, I felt sure I’d cry out with such intense ecstasy that my neighbors would be confused whether it was an orgasm or demonic possession. My partner wouldn’t know whether to offer a postcoital cigarette or an exorcist.

So, what happened? Did the yeti come in from the cold? Did I discover the zip code of the Bermuda Triangle?

Yes! Yes! Yessss!!!

But was it due to the diet? Or the fact that eating less dessert and sugar means losing weight, and if you feel better about your body, you’re more inclined to want to show it off naked and be more confident when doing so. The more confident you are, the more relaxed you are…”

Good point. It may actually be physical, but it could very likely be psychological. If you go on this diet, you will undoubtedly lose weight, feel better about your body and lifestyle, more cleansed and sexified, and, in turn, you will be more aroused in bed. Whatever. It’s a win-win situation no matter what, so I say give the diet a shot.

And not to outdo this new sense of female power and orgasmic ability, this article ends on a frustrating note, by not failing to mention yet another reason why guys basically suck.

“Globally, twice as many men as women regularly have orgasms, the Durex Sexual Wellness Global Survey found.“

Damn boys. Always be stealin’ the spotlight.