THE Sexiest Bathing Suit, Ever
Perez Hilton just made my day. Thanks to his new posting, I finally know what kind of bathing suit I’m going to buy before the summer’s over! Phew….I was getting nervous there.
Meet Wholesome Wear!!!!!!
“A modest line of clothing for “wherever.”
A spandex undergarment, a loose fitting Taslan outer garment and a single zipper that unites both garments for swimming ease? I can only think of one word to describe these waterproof wonders:
SEXY!!!!
Okay, I kid, I kid. These things are hideous.
The Culotte version, the Skirted version AND the “Slimming” version (not very slimming if you ask me) are monstrosities that look like they could be worn “wherever.” Like wherever, as in, on an Amish farm if you happen to be churning butter or fetching water from the well. Good God, not swimming in the water! Who the F*CK would wear these things in public and look this excited?
I understand that some people are genuinely modest about their bodies, and shopping for swimsuits can sometimes be super frustrating and scary and, yes, lots of people would rather not wear a string bikini to the beach. Maybe instead, those people can find something more like….I don’t know, this? Plus, wearing a sack that looks like a polyester jumper from the ’80′s won’t exactly help blend you in with the crowd.
But, ladies, if you must have one of these awesomely manufactured pieces of hotness for your apartment building’s next big pool party, you’re in luck.
The swimwear, like the Culotte, is only $71.20 plus shipping and handling! (Rip off? No way!) I’d definitely go with the bright purple outer garment and Jade Floral undergarment, but that’s just me.
There’s being slutty and then there’s being conservative. Just like there’s modesty and being “wholesome,” there’s also just really, really, AWFULLY bad taste.
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C. J. Hays says:
Tue, 7th Aug 20073:56 pm
The swimsuits look a bit unusual to me, but nobody is asking me to wear one. There are women and girls who prefer more modest apparel than the average US females. These swimsuits are made for those females. I doubt that it matters one whit to them what you or I think of this swimwear.
Tom says:
Tue, 7th Aug 20076:49 pm
It's a shame when it is more appropriate for a girl or woman to be ridiculed for wanting to maintain a modest outlook than societies' need to show more skin. In this day and age when women have worked hard to be considered equals, then to have a woman degrade a modest apparel so men will not see them as 'degrading objects' seems like hypocrisy to me.
.LadyKelien says:
Tue, 7th Aug 20077:49 pm
Tom wearing that kind of clothing to me says hey, I am ashamed of the fact Im a woman and I don't want any man to look upon my beauty because he might find it like table legs to tempting and begin to try hump me the way a dog might. The whole reason the trend of table cloths got started was because the legs of tables were concidered so sexual you men wouldn't be able to control yourselves. I don't know about you but I think I would be insulted by that. These supposed swim suites say the same thing. I don't trust men to behave in public better than a rutting dog so Im going to dress as uncomfortably and unisexually as I can. Just because we want to be treated equally doesn't mean we want to be treated like men. It means we want to be treated fairly. You know if you and I are doing the same job and have been for the same amount of time at the same level of skill we should make the same. The Hypocrasy here can be found simply in a man who would like nothing more than to return to the days when men owned women suggesting that we are hypocrits for expecting you men to behave yourselves regardless of what we wear.
Amy says:
Wed, 8th Aug 20071:37 pm
I'm with C.J and Tom.
Even if we have great bodies, it is OK if we want to be modest.. hey, after all, we're not living for men, you know..why the need to show off?
Audrey says:
Mon, 13th Aug 20074:58 am
There is a difference between dressing modestly and wearing something that's absolutely hideous. but on a more serious note…
Sometimes the oppression of women is hidden under the guise of so-called "modesty" – ever think about religions who won't allow women to show their faces or Christian denominations that don't allow women to wear pants, much less skirts above the knee? sorry, but i find this type of modesty to be suffocating and a definite offense to the freedoms gained by the womens movement.
however, if a woman feels compelled to wear this because of her own personal choice, then cool. but if it's because they're concerned about "not living for men" or so "men won't see them as objects" then that's bullshit. having recently graduated from an all-women's college (Lauren, one of the writers on college candy, is one of my fellow alums!!), I can honestly say that I don't know many women who wouldn't find this oppressive. or at least think it's a fashion disaster.
Modesty is classy, and i'm all for it – for example, there's a HUGE difference in a thong-bottom bikini and a scoop-bottom bikini. and i'm not a fan of seeing boobies flopping everywhere either. but seriously, THIS is a bit much.